Say Good Day, Gracie: Burns, Allen Air Again

Oliver Wendell Douglas, the perpetually frustrated protagonist of “Green Acres,” could lower his blood pressure a bit by taking a cue from George Burns, whose “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” series will be aired on KOCE Channel 50 this month on Saturday nights at 10.

They’ve both got wives who are a little wacko. But whereas Oliver (Eddie Albert) tries to hold on to the logic that Lisa (Eva Gabor) has thrown out the window like so many inedible hotzcakes, George not only accepts Gracie’s looniness, he embraces it.

The man who played God in the ‘70s presides over his own little 1950s world, calmly puffing his cigar, moving things along (“Now I think it’s time to put a little plot in the show,” he says. “Plot is cheaper than guest stars . . . and you don’t have to worry about billing”) or commenting to the audience on the goings-on.

A lot of what goes on is Gracie befuddling someone--maybe neighbors Blanche Morton (Bea Benaderet, who’ll remind you more of Betty Rubble ) and her husband, Harry (played by four actors throughout the run of the show).

On Oct. 10 it’s the tax advisor. Gracie’s confused about what our taxes pay for. Part of the dollar, he tells her, goes to the Army and Navy and the State Department, and part to government salaries.

Gracie doesn’t get it. “If they can do all that with one dollar,” she asks, “then who gets the rest of the money?”

And if we pay the salaries of senators and congressmen, she says, “why can’t we claim them as dependents and deduct them?”

The tax advisor gets a little ruffled. But George is used to Gracie. After all, the couple started in vaudeville together. At one time, Gracie was the straight man--until they realized the act worked better the other way. It worked through radio too, and it worked on their show, which ran from 1950 until ‘58, when Gracie retired.

DETAILS, DETAILS: What was the name of the theme song of “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show”? Answer below. Answer to last week’s quiz (What fellow Briton replaced Sebastian Cabot in “Family Affair” for nine episodes while the regular was ill?): John Williams.

Set Your VCR

OK, Guy Williams is no Antonio Banderas; but in 1957, you could watch his “Zorro” in your living room free of charge. The premiere episode, “Presenting Senor Zorro,” airs Oct. 13 at midnight on the Disney Channel.

“All in the Family” wasn’t always Archie Bunker’s place, as proved by the show’s original, 1969 pilot (Oct. 17 at 7 p.m. on TV Land). In that one program, called “Those Were the Days,” which has never been aired in its entirety, Carroll O’Connor and Jean Stapleton play Archie and Edith Justice, and Gloria and her husband are played by Candice Azzara (who later played Alice Barth in “Rhoda”) and Chip Oliver. Immediately following “Those Were the Days,” TV Land will show the remake of the pilot, which served as the first episode of “All in the Family,” a show that aired from 1971-83. TV Land begins showing the series Monday through Saturday at 7 p.m. and repeating at 10 p.m., beginning Oct. 19.

Madeleine Stowe guest-stars in a 1980 “Little House on the Prairie” (Oct. 19 at noon on KTLA Channel 5) as a blind artist having a hard time reconciling with the mother who had abandoned her. Stowe did all right for herself, ending up as star of “The Last of the Mohicans,” “12 Monkeys” and “The Proposition.”

You’re probably used to seeing Clint Ritchie in color. But that’s him in glorious black and white as a lieutenant in the premiere episode of “The Wild Wild West” (Oct. 8 on KDOC Channel 56). That was in 1965, more than a decade before he became Clint Buchanan and took up with Victoria Lord (fill in the latest last name) on “One Life to Live.”

Some of Walt Disney’s rarely seen pre-”Steamboat Willie” work will be featured in October on--what else--the Disney Channel. There were 56 of these so-called Alice Comedies, which put a live-action character into a cartoon world, shown in theaters in the early 1920s. Some of them were shown on TV in the ‘50s but have been in the vault since then. The Disney Channel will air one each night from Oct. 16-29, beginning with the never-released pilot, “Alice’s Wonderland.” The shorts average about seven minutes and will be shown Monday through Saturday at 11 p.m. and Sunday at 9 p.m.

Diane walks into a bar and stays for a few years on the premiere episode of “Cheers” (Monday at midnight on KTLA Channel 5), from 1982. The episode, “Give Me a Ring Sometime,” won an Emmy for writing. Other firsts: “Quincy” (Oct. 27 at 5 and 11 a.m. on A&E;); “Full House” (Oct. 5 at 2:05 p.m. on TBS); “I Dream of Jeannie” (Oct. 22 at 7 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. on TV Land); and “The Flip Wilson Show” (Oct. 7 at 6:30 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. on TV Land).

So, you think you know who plays Jethrene Bodine on “The Beverly Hillbillies” (Oct. 14 at 2 a.m. on TBS)? The answer “Max Baer” is only half right. The voice of his unfortunate-looking sister is that of Linda Kaye Henning, who played Betty Jo Bradley on “Petticoat Junction” and whose dad, Paul, created “The Beverly Hillbillies” and “Petticoat Junction.”

October is National Dental Hygiene Month, National Physical Therapy Month, and, oh yeah, it’s Scooby-Doo Month on Cartoon Network. The cable station’s “Cartoon Theatre” on Saturdays from 8 to 10 p.m. (Saturday-Oct. 24) will be devoted to Scooby’s animated movies. Other Scooby highlights for October: a 25-hour “Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?” begins Oct. 24 at noon, and on Oct. 26-30, five episodes of the series “The New Scooby-Doo Movies,” which will be shown from 7 to 8 p.m.

Sorry, but you’ll have to leave the sofa--all the way to the Museum of Television & Radio in Beverly Hills--if you want to see Barbra Streisand on: a 1963 installment of “The Judy Garland Show” and a 1962 segment of “The Ed Sullivan Show” (through Sunday); her first solo TV special, 1965’s “My Name Is Barbra,” a clip from a 1965 “What’s My Line?” (Wednesday-Oct. 18); her 1966 special, “Color Me Barbra,” and a clip from a 1963 “The Ed Sullivan Show” (Oct. 21-25); a 1967 vaudeville tribute with Jason Robards, “The Belle of 14th Street,” and a segment from another 1963 “Ed Sullivan Show” (Oct. 28-Nov. 1). Screenings are Wednesdays through Sundays at 3 and Thursdays at 7 p.m.

The Streisand series continues at the museum through Jan. 7. Information: (310) 786-1000.

Answer to trivia quiz: “Love Nest.”

Stations provide airing times. Programming and times are subject to change.