CHRIS DUFRESNE’S TOP 25

1. Nebraska (4-0): It’s all over except for the screaming, folks. This is the Big Red Machine.

2. Ohio State (3-0): Buckeyes offer to cancel Nov. 21 home game against Michigan to free up field for UCLA-Miami.

3. UCLA (2-0): Comment wiped out by Hurricane Georges; no makeup comment planned because of schedule conflict with annual writers’ banquet.

4. Tennessee (3-0): At Auburn, at Georgia. At about this time in two weeks, we’ll know if Volunteers are for real.

5. LSU (3-0): Without Faulk, they’d be busted flat in Baton Rouge, waiting for a train.

6. Florida (3-1): Bear Bryant gets tape of Florida-Kentucky game; rolls over in grave.

7. Florida State (3-1): Say, there, Coach Hackett, how’d you like that Gulf Coast offense?

8. Penn State (3-0): So whom do you take in game where Paterno and Cooper both have two weeks to prepare?

9. Kansas State (4-0): Wildcats get a bye this week. Yeah, so, what’s different about this week?

10. Syracuse (2-1): No report. Thursday night ESPN game conflicted with ritual viewing of “Geraldo Rivera Live.”

11. Colorado (4-0): We’re guessing half the free world is rooting for you guys to beat K-State on Oct. 10.

12. Texas A&M; (3-1): In the year of the Macs--McGwire, McNown, McNabb--Aggies’ Randy McCown named QB starter this week.

13. Virginia (4-0): San Jose State, do you know the way to Charlottesville?

14. West Virginia (2-1): Jerry West teams with Mike Ovitz to purchase school’s Carquest Bowl rights.

15. Wisconsin (4-0): Big Ten championship candidacy officially endorsed this week by National Dairy Assn.

16. Oregon (4-0): Listen, Ducks, you’re supposed to produce lumber, not 50 points per game.

17. Washington (2-1): Thanks, Huskies, those press box apples at Nebraska were Washington delicious.

18. Georgia (3-0): Good luck at LSU, fellas. Don’t forget your earplugs.

19. Arizona (4-0): Heartfelt admission: Maybe Tomey knows what he’s doing with that quarterback rotation.

20. USC (3-1): If this is the West Coast offense, Rankman is headed east.

21. Virginia Tech (4-0): What does a school no one cares a Hokie about need to do to get respect around here?

22. Notre Dame (2-1): Kimberly Dunbar asked to throw out first bounced check before Saturday’s Stanford game.

23. Arkansas (2-1): Soooooooooooeeee! We’ve cracked Rankman’s dad-burn poll.

24. Kentucky (3-1): Hal Mumme keeps team under wraps by banning reporters from post-practice interviews.

25. Tulane (3-0): Tommy Bowden phones father Bobby and brother Terry to offer some football pointers.