Hollywood’s Night of Nights

Boil and bubble, this city’s in trouble. From Hugh Hefner’s party at the Playboy Mansion to downtown’s underworld Halloween Masquerade Ball, L.A.’s sure to be frothing over with proper monster mash madness. That’s right, honey, Hollywood’s favorite holiday is turning this into a veritable freak week, with ghastly parties scheduled tonight through Saturday.

So before you can say boo-hoo, here’s the best of the Halloween hootenannies:

Second Annual Halloween Masquerade Ball, Saturday

Groovy ghoulies, gothics and fetish-loving folks will be at Coven 13 & Fetish Ball’s masquerade gala, which is scheduled to take over the Variety Arts Center in downtown Los Angeles on Saturday. With hosts Joseph Brooks, Jason Lavitt and James Stone, the DJ-promoters behind some of L.A.’s hottest clubs (Sin-A-Matic, Cherry and Coven 13 . . . need we say more?), and an entire floor dominated by Fetish magazine, all the children of the corny and kinky will be out to play.

Five floors of the venerable building are being transformed to offer devilish delights, ranging from progressive trance and techno music--a la Sin-A-Matic, the 8-year-old dance club at the 7969 club in West Hollywood--to an industrial/darkwave dance room, featuring such deejays as the Kontrol Faktory’s Kris Klink and Perversion’s DJ Amanda. Nearly everyone’s who’s anyone has been calling to get a piece of the action, and famed Limelight waxsmith Dave Kendall was also recently added. For Gothic-loving folks, a rare live music performance by London After Midnight should make your spirits bite.

Voyeurs, too, will have a ball at this ball. It’s a people-watching mecca, and we promise one thing--there won’t be anything else like it. No sirree, Bob. The people who subscribe to this counter-couture revolution are serious about their costumes. How else to explain one man’s willingness to undergo three hours of makeup last year to be transformed into vintage Esther Williams, swimsuit and all? That’s pure dedication.

* “Halloween Masquerade Ball” at the Variety Arts Center, Saturday, 940 S. Figueroa, L.A., (323) 644-1811 and (323) 769-5500. 18 and over, cover $35. $25 in advance at Retail Slut in Hollywood, Ipso Facto in Fullerton, and 665 in West Hollywood.

Cherry, Friday

Who says Halloween has to be celebrated on Halloween? Not this Friday night glam club, which is planning a “Grave Diggers Costume Ball” on Friday. Cherry, now almost 4 years old (a birthday party’s in store Nov. 13), has the most sizzling warmup party. Promoters Bryan Rabin and Mike Messex have cash prizes for the best ‘80s costume, best rock star and most bizarre outfit. This glam parade gives us warm and fuzzy memories of the ‘80s, without the ‘90s hangover. And with its celebrity clientele--Courtney Love, Marilyn Manson and other hotter than hot artists--they may end up crowning a bona fide rock star this year. (Maybe, they’ll donate the money to Cherrity. . . .)

* Cherry’s “Grave Diggers Costume Ball,” Friday at the Love Lounge, 657 N. Robertson Blvd., West Hollywood, (213) 896-9099.

Cramps at the House of Blues, tonight and Friday

Two different sets, two different nights from the ultimate Halloween band, the legendary Cramps. No one’s been laying it down harder and longer than L.A.’s own Cramps. Also performing at the Sunset Strip nightclub are the psycho-surf band the Bomboras--scheduled to open for the Cramps tonight, while Pearl Harbour kicks off Friday’s festivities.

* The Cramps at the House of Blues, tonight and Friday, 8430 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, (323) 848-2000 and (323) 848-5100. All ages, cover $20.

Erotica L.A.

What’s up with this approaching the millennium stuff? It’s like we’re going back to the days of debauchery, and everyone’s up to no good. Wait, that was the ‘70s. Well, boogie nights to you too, because Erotica L.A.--which is sponsored by members of the adult entertainment industry--has one of the biggest parties going this Halloween, with plans to take over the Universal City Hilton. (A similar orgasmatron is scheduled to take place at the Key Club, which is promising a “Helloween” erotic affair on Saturday.) At least this is one party that solves that gnawing “what to wear” question. Nearly nothing would be appropriate.

* Erotica L.A. Halloween ‘98, Saturday, Universal City Hilton, 555 Universal Terrace Parkway, Universal City, (818) 734-9898 and (818) 786-4286. 21 and over, $50 cover.

Wack Pack at Bar Deluxe, Saturday

The Wack Pack are baaaaa-ack. A duo of dementia, these two lounge lizards lost their dignity a long time ago, doing a Vegas shtick that makes you wanna holler (in pain). Seriously though, we’re being serious. Long-lost relatives of Rodney Dangerfield, the Wack Pack are sure to attract the ‘70s-style Vegas crawlers who just want to belly up to a bar and throw beer bottles at the “talent.” (We are not in anyway endorsing such behavior, of course.)

* Wack Pack at Bar Deluxe, Saturday, 1710 N. Las Palmas Ave., Hollywood, (323) 468-1991. 21 and & over, $5 cover.

Knight Fever at Universal Studios, Saturday

Disco cover bands are a dime a dozen, but not Perfect World Entertainment disco cover bands. These Frankenstein monsters, concocted by original Boogie Knights front man Jamie Brown, now number 20 and perform in 20 states. This year, Knight Fever has the Halloween hook-up at Universal Studios theme park as part of the entertainment being offered at the park’s “Halloween Horror Night II: Primal Scream,” which is also promising its guests a chance to watch Chucky tie the knot. Ouch.

* Knight Fever at Universal Studios’ “Halloween Horror Night II: Primal Scream,” Saturday, 1000 Universal Drive, Universal City, (818) 226-5905. All ages, cover $34 ($24 in advance, sellout expected).

Gotham’s Halloween Ball, Saturday

Westside ghouls who want to stay local can partake in some fun-loving costume-clad activities at Gotham in Santa Monica. Located on the Third Street Promenade, Gotham is promising a creepy carnival show, two dance floors and, of course, a costume contest. Those who haven’t hit the thrift stores yet should be aware that at Gotham, costumes are not optional.

* Gotham’s Halloween Ball, 1431 Third Street Promenade, Santa Monica, (310) 394-8865. 21 and over, $15 cover.

After Hours Party?

The party to find is the KISS post-show gala. Wish we could point you in the right direction, but our invitation must’ve gotten snagged by the wrong carrier pigeon. Our advice is to follow the line of limos--they always know--the ones leaving Dodger Stadium, where KISS and the Smashing Pumpkins are scheduled to perform on Saturday.