‘I Will Never Forgive Myself,’ Driver Says

It was a moment Roberto Perez said he had not before had the courage to endure.

In a crowded courtroom Tuesday, Perez for the first time faced relatives of a 26-year-old woman he’d killed in a drunk-driving accident Christmas morning, looked them in the eyes and told them he’d regret that day for the rest of his life.

“If I could have given my life for your daughter, I tell you from my heart I would have done it,” Perez, 26, said through a Spanish interpreter at his sentencing hearing. “I made the mistake, and I had the right to have the punishment instead of her, but life is not fair.

“Going to jail will not be the real punishment,” he added. “The real punishment I am receiving is that I will never forgive myself for this as long as I live.”

As Perez spoke, William Pagan, the victim’s father, sighed deeply and shook his head.

“I was thinking, God almighty, what a tragedy for both families,” Pagan, 63, said later. “He will never be the same and it won’t be the same for me. I will always think of Michelle.”

Perez was convicted last month of vehicular manslaughter and driving under the influence after running red lights and speeding across the Valley in a drunken rush to get his pregnant wife to the hospital about 3 a.m. As he ran the light at Victory and Van Nuys boulevards, his station wagon slammed into Michelle Pagan’s Honda Accord, killing the Woodland Hills woman.

For his crimes, Superior Court Judge Darlene Schempp on Tuesday sentenced Perez to two years in prison. She said he was not eligible for the maximum. It was Perez’s first conviction.

His lawyer said he will serve at least one year.

Pagan’s father said he was hoping for a harsher sentence but accepts Shempp’s decision. He said his family had lost their spiritual and emotional anchor and that his only comfort is knowing that she is in a better place.

“The tragic loss of Michelle has left an empty spiritual space in our family,” Pagan said, his voice cracking as he read from a prepared statement. “She was an eternal giver who kept our family together as never before in our lives.”

He and his family wept as he spoke about the pain of losing his daughter.

“All I want to say is your family better have a picture of my sister in your house, particularly around liquor, so you can’t imagine ever going through this again,” said Alvin Pagan, the victim’s brother.

When police arrested Perez on Christmas morning, it was on suspicion of murder and drunk driving. Prosecutors instead filed the lesser charges of gross vehicular manslaughter--which carries a 10-year maximum--and drunk driving.

At trial, Deputy Dist. Atty. Shari Silverman argued that Perez’s decision to get in the car after drinking, then whizzing through intersections flashing his hazard lights and honking his horn, clearly fit the definition of gross negligence. Witnesses said they saw him swerve around cars and run red light after red light.

But jurors convicted Perez of vehicular manslaughter, which carries a maximum sentence of four years. They agreed with his lawyer that the defendant was not a drunk stepping out of a bar, but a family man celebrating Christmas Eve at his Sun Valley home with no intention of driving.

Perez and his family testified that his wife awoke him about 2 a.m. with severe labor pains and he thought he was sober enough to drive her to the hospital. They also said he was checking on his wife through the rearview mirror when the light at Victory and Van Nuys changed from green to red. When he saw it was red, he was too close to stop, he said.

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After the accident, witnesses said, Perez stepped out of his car and said: “I will have to pay for what I’ve done.”

While he and his wife have maintained that he has always taken full responsibility for Pagan’s death, Perez still fought the charges. In court Tuesday, he said he had tried for a lesser sentence for the benefit of his wife and children. They were still hoping for probation, his lawyer said.

With the family in mind, Schempp said she would recommend Perez serve his time in a Los Angeles restitution center, where inmates are allowed to work during the day but are required to return to prison at night.

“There’s nothing I can do to stop the suffering of the Pagan family,” she added.