Neighborly Way to Approach Airport

I am getting mighty tired of the whining from South Orange County inhabitants about the proposed El Toro airport, a bad habit they picked up from pampered Newport Beachers.

I live directly under the landing path of airplanes flying to John Wayne, at the exact spot where the pilot throws every engine into maximum power in case he has to abort the landing. It sounds like old World War II movies where screaming rockets are falling on London, without the explosion.

No one hears me complain, however. I look at airport noise as an opportunity.

Family relations improve. You can screech your true feelings at other family members while the noise level is too high for them to hear. This gets it out of your system, and you can return to calm discussion when it gets quiet.

You learn to speak and think succinctly. At peak airport usage hours, you have an average of 50 seconds to get your point across before the next plane flies over. If it can’t be said in fifty seconds, it probably isn’t worth saying.

There are money-making possibilities. Rent out your roof as advertising space. Millions of nervous passengers will be scanning the ground and will see it clearly.

Express your own beliefs to those passengers. Place a message of your own on the roof, such as, “Bob Dornan was robbed,” or “The end is near.”

Airport noise benefits all of society. It’s well known that most geniuses get their best ideas in the middle of the night. Every time a plane flies over, another genius will wake up and think of an idea or invention to improve our quality of life.

That’s the adult way to handle adversity. If Orange County hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

MARCIA EDWARDS

Orange