Our long nightmare is almost over. Most people hope it will be finished before the next Mike Tyson fight.
These are some of the things we can rejoice in soon: We won’t have to watch Mrs. Goldberg, Linda Tripp’s agent, on television.
Better still, we won’t have to watch Linda Tripp on television.
Even better than that, we won’t have to watch Linda Tripp’s hair on television.
One of the biggest pluses is that we will no longer have to watch President Clinton hugging Monica Lewinsky on the White House lawn.
We also will be spared TV bites of Monica getting out of a Diamond taxi to enter the courthouse.
Thank the Lord, we also no longer have to watch Ken Starr putting on his suit jacket and waving to the press with a Cheshire cat grin on his face.
If anyone stands to suffer from the finish of this country’s biggest sex scandal, it is the members of the legal profession. Thousands of lawyers were recruited as experts in the case. Some, who had little knowledge of crimes and misdemeanors and the U.S. Constitution, were hired to appear on TV shows to tell us what was really going on in the grand jury room.
Now, with the case fading away, these lawyers will go back to chasing ambulances and explaining tobacco cases in their own home towns.
The other big losers are the DNA experts who quit their jobs to go on Larry King and Geraldo Rivera’s shows.
How will Americans react when their daily fixes of Monica and Bill are withdrawn? As psychiatrist Dr. Asdaque Simple said, “Since this is a grand jury case involving a White House intern and a president of the United States, it may take a while for the American public to get over it. But since the attention span in Washington is down to 30 seconds, it will be forgotten sooner than the Wilbur Mills-Fanne Foxe sex scandal.”