LAUGH LINES

Hold Your Fire: NATO warned Yugoslavia not to spread the conflict to Albania. “Or what, we’ll bomb them?” (Daily Scoop)

On the Campaign Trail: Dan Quayle officially announced he’s running for president. “He’s got four votes already: Jay Leno, David Letterman, Bill Maher and Dennis Miller.” (Daily Scoop)

Flashback: On police advice, O.J. Simpson gave up chasing a gunman who confronted the former football star on a golf course. He called the incident “the weirdest thing.” “What’s really weird is the police told O.J. to pull over and he did.” (Mark Wheeler)

On the Outs: Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra are divorcing. “It’s sad when sham marriages don’t work out.” (Jay Leno)

On the Outs II: Carmen Electra says that they’ll still remain friends. “She explained, ‘Every once in a while, we’re still gonna hang out, get drunk and get married.’ ” (Conan O’Brien)

While We’re on the Subject: “For the settlement, Electra wants half of everything Rodman earned during their marriage, which would be five technical fouls, one ejection and an undisclosed fine for being late to practice.” (Paul Ecker)

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