LAUGH LINES
Gates of Wrath: “The Transportation Department reports that airport security is so bad, 117 of their agents managed to sneak past airport employees and onto planes without tickets. The only person they stopped: Diana Ross.” (Jay Leno)
Face-Saver: “You know what’s great about shopping online? When they reject your credit card, you don’t have to pretend it was that magnetic strip.” (Leno)
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The Essential David Letterman
Top NASCAR Driver Pet Peeves
10. Winning a race, then getting passed on the way home by some dork in a Hyundai.
8. Kids in the back keep asking, “Are we at lap 236 yet?”
7. Right in the middle of the race, your N’Sync tape gets chewed up.
5. After a fill-up, your pit crew doesn’t give you a free NFL drinking glass.
4. Guys who think they have a lot in common with you because they once did 70 on the Interstate.
2. Telling crew chief you need to use the restroom and he says, “Well, you should have thought of that before you left the house, mister.”
1. Guys who only drive 160 in the left-hand lane.
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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