This Ending May Not Have a Nice Ring to It

A review of Week 13, and as the postseason parties are being planned, invitations are going out and some feelings are bound to be hurt.

SOMETHING’S STILL MISSING

Dan Marino holds every significant NFL passing record, his name listed above those of such quarterbacks as Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana and John Elway in most categories.

With 417 touchdown passes, an incredible 48 in one season, and more than 60,000 yards gained through the air, Marino’s niche in the Pro Football of Fame is assured.

What more could a guy want?

Well, a Super Bowl championship ring might be nice.

But as Marino’s career draws to a close, as his 38-year-old legs rob him of the mobility that once allowed him to dodge blitzers and buy time to find a target downfield, it becomes ever more likely that Marino won’t win in football’s biggest show.

He got there once, in only his second season, losing in Super Bowl XIX to Montana and his San Francisco 49ers, 38-16.

But Marino was only 23. He was sure he’d be going back to the Super Bowl. So far, he hasn’t.

And now losses like Sunday’s crushing 37-34 defeat by the Indianapolis Colts, led by football’s newest superstar quarterback, Peyton Manning, eat away at Marino’s lingering hopes of topping off a career of magnificent individual achievement with the ultimate team accomplishment.

It happened for Elway, who finished his career with his first two Super Bowl triumphs.

But Marino knows he may be following a different script, one without a happy ending. He shook off a five-interception performance against the Dallas Cowboys on Thanksgiving Day, throwing for 313 yards and three touchdowns Sunday. But it wasn’t enough against the new kids on the block. Same old story for Marino: good numbers, bad result.

And afterward, he vented his frustration when he was asked how tough it was to watch Indianapolis’ Mike Vanderjagt kick the game-winning 53-yard field goal.

“These questions are ridiculous,” snarled Marino. “I’ll tell you how tough it is. You work your butt off all week and then you lose a game like that by three points with two seconds left. That’s how tough it is, but you wouldn’t know, would you?”

Who was Marino talking to?

Himself, really. The tough news has sunk in that he may well leave this game as the greatest quarterback never to have won a Super Bowl.

HE’S GOT HIS RINGS

Miami Coach Jimmy Johnson had said before Sunday’s game that it was his most important as Dolphin coach and that it might well determine the future of the team.

Will Johnson even be a part of it?

The Dolphin coach can make Marino look like a good sport when it comes to losing. Johnson had briefly retired at the end of last season, citing burnout.

If this season ends badly, he might experience an irreversible flameout.

He already has won two Super Bowls with Dallas, plus a national championship with the University of Miami.

Life on his boat with his new wife may be looking better and better.

WHO KNEW?

The Colts and the St. Louis Rams in Super Bowl XXXIV? Inconceivable? Once, maybe, but not now, with each club 10-2 and steaming into the playoffs.

Before the season began, Las Vegas oddsmakers listed the Rams as 200-1 longshots to win the Super Bowl, with the Colts at 100-1.

The odds have changed a bit. The Rams are now 5-2 to win it all, the Colts 7-2.

SAFE AND SANE

With the Dallas Cowboys struggling at 6-6, how is it there aren’t rumors about Dallas Coach Chan Gailey losing his job?

It could be because he has done an excellent job of holding together a team hurt by injuries to the key offensive performers--quarterback Troy Aikman, running back Emmitt Smith and receiver Michael Irvin.

Or it could be because Gailey has acted responsibly, tried to limit the off-the-field distractions, not tried to upstage owner Jerry Jones and not tried to carry a loaded gun onto a plane.

UGLY STUFF

The New England Patriots may have stayed on the fringes of the playoff picture with a lackluster 13-6 victory over Dallas on Sunday night, but that may not be enough to save the job of Coach Pete Carroll.

Ever get the feeling players regard Carroll as a substitute teacher, to be ignored and ridiculed while they await the return of professor Bill Parcells?

He’s obviously not coming back.

And, probably, neither is Carroll.

UGLIER STUFF

It turns out his recent demotion has not been the only problem on Pittsburgh quarterback/running back/receiver Kordell Stewart’s mind.

Having lost the quarterback job to Mike Tomczak, Stewart has revealed that he met with his Steeler teammates a year ago to tell them to ignore rampant rumors about his sexual preferences.

Stewart told Pittsburgh radio station KDKA that he said to his teammates, “I don’t want any fan or any knucklehead outside of this organization to make you feel differently about me as a player.”

SHOWERED AND TAPED

The Colts gave Vanderjagt a game ball Sunday. For kicking the winning field goal against the Dolphins, of course.

Well yeah, that too.

“He was taped up by the defensive backs and thrown in the shower [earlier] this week,” Manning said. “We gave him the game ball for just coming back from that.”

It seems Vanderjagt and punter Hunter Smith were involved in a heated game of Nerf basketball against some defensive backs. (Vanderjagt, a former high school basketball star, has a hoop over his locker).

Trash talk was exchanged and the defensive backs took exception to remarks by Smith. When some of the angry defenders stormed off in search of athletic tape with the idea of teaching the rookie punter a lesson, Smith wisely disappeared. Unable to find Smith, the defensive backs swooped down on Vanderjagt. They taped his wrists and ankles together, then taped a football to his foot, and dragged him into the shower.

Fortunately they untied Vanderjagt, who was able to untie Sunday’s game.

Some guys will go through anything for a game ball.