Onstage, a Sure Bette

Is Bette Midler perfect?

Not when she steps into a recording studio. Her oh-so-devotional rendition of the oh-so-sentimental ballad “Wind Beneath My Wings” is the kind of hit that gives mainstream pop a bad name.

And not always when it comes to making movies. Remember “Jinxed” and a few others she’d probably like to forget?

But put her on a concert stage and she comes about as close to perfection as an entertainer can--and she’s been proving it for a quarter of a century.

With Midler now on the road with a show titled “The Divine Miss Millennium,” she could succumb to the temptation of trying to summarize the foibles and fancies of the past 1,000 years. But as she showed Sunday at the San Diego Sports Arena, she had the good sense to pretty much ignore the whole thing. Thank goodness.

Has there ever been so much written and said about a single tick of a clock? Let’s just drop the ball in Times Square and get on with it.

Midler’s thoughts precisely.

Well, she did mention the M-word a few times Sunday, but she quickly segued into her usual survey of society’s fads and human foibles, from celebrity scandals to the impact of Viagra.

“Take stock?” she barked disdainfully at one point in the flamboyant production, zeroing in on the nation’s true obsession in these economic good times. “Buy stock!”

Midler has shown the ability over the years to move from clubs to arenas without losing her winning sense of intimacy. One reason is that she is a great physical comedian. She delivers even the subtlest line with a restless energy that compounds the humor. She also has great instincts for talking about topics in a tacky and shameless way that we recognize as true, but would feel uncomfortable expressing ourselves.

Midler always finds room for local color--and sure enough, she had a few things to say here about the beloved San Diego Zoo and the struggling San Diego Chargers. You know she’ll have some Orange County jokes tonight when the tour stops at the Arrowhead Pond, and she’s got a big target in Staples Center and all those luxury suites when she plays the new arena on Thursday.

Mostly, however, the “Millennium” show is tightly scripted.

A highlight of the opening Sunday came when Midler, 54, said that she has been thinking a lot about her life and the millennium lately, and has decided it’s time to stop being so tasteless and outrageous onstage.

Before the audience had a chance to weigh the words, she smiled broadly and declared, “But it’s not New Year’s yet!”

She then took us to Club Pits, where she engaged in all sorts of her trademark excesses. Some of the numbers seemed belabored, but the segment ended marvelously with her version of “The Lady Is a Tramp,” complete with a break in mid-song for one of her concert trademarks: those raw, ribald “Sophie” jokes.

The second half of the nearly 2 1/2-hour concert started with the return of Delores DeLago, her colorful mermaid character who alternates between hopping clumsily around the stage and stylishly speeding around in a motorized wheelchair.

Well, guess what Delores wants to do? Yes, she wants to run for president. If TV talk-show hosts can take seriously something as absurd as Donald Trump’s candidacy, why not Dolores?

In a lengthy and generally excellent skit, she lampooned everything from lavish campaign finances to candidates’ pandering. The sequence ended spectacularly with a campaign rally, complete with confetti falling from the ceiling and a couple dozen extras wearing celebrity masks--two of whom provided the rally’s entertainment: Barbra Streisand on vocals and President Clinton on saxophone. Through it all, Midler sang old-time patriotic songs, including “You’re a Grand Old Flag.”

Between skits, Midler, backed by a solid seven-piece band, found lots of time for music, including a few numbers that touch on some personal themes, such as motherhood and spiritual longing.

During the encore, Midler--who had been surrounded for much of the night by a swarm of dancers and singers as well as the colorful staging--stepped alone to the front of the stage for a final number, the classic “One for My Baby.”

In this context, the tune served as a stirring millennium number, inviting thoughts of all the people you wish could still be here on this New Year’s Eve, and to be thankful for the ones who still can.

It’s a bold choice because the Johnny Mercer-Harold Arlen song is so identified with Frank Sinatra. But Midler--who also sang a treatment of the song on Johnny Carson’s “Tonight Show” farewell--delivered it marvelously. She did it so tenderly, in fact, that even Frank would no doubt have raised a toast to her. You can’t get much closer to perfection than that.

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* Bette Midler performs tonight at the Arrowhead Pond, 2695 E. Katella Ave., Anaheim, 8 p.m. $39.50-$254.50. (714) 704-2500. Also Thursday at Staples Center, 1111 S. Figueroa St., 8 p.m. $39.50-$254.50. (877) 305-1111.