Limiting the Options: “The Justice Department is...

Limiting the Options: “The Justice Department is investigating record companies [on allegations of] fixing CD prices. They’re also going after Microsoft, drug dealers, Big Tobacco and gun makers. The idea is to give high school kids nothing to do but study.” (Argus Hamilton)

Running the Asylum: “According to a new report by the Surgeon General, the mentally ill in this country are too often left untreated. And you know where they usually end up--the Reform party, running for president.” (Jay Leno)

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The Essential David Letterman

Least-Rented Christmas Movies

10. “ ‘Twas 243 Nights Before Christmas”

9. “Frosty, the Anatomically Correct Snowman”

7. “The Grinch Who Sold Christmas On Ebay”

6. “The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t, Due to Santa’s Urinary Tract Infection”

5. “Yo Ho Ho! Dave Letterman’s Rappin’ Christmas”

4. Discovery Channel Presents: “Elf Autopsy”

3. “Let’s See What Bing Crosby Looks Like Now!”

2. “Tiny Tim: Big Where It Counts”

1. “Yentl”

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