That Was the Year That Wasn’t

It’s been an amazing year. Marijuana replaced petroleum as the nation’s chief source of energy. The Statue of Liberty had both arms blown off in a terrorist attack. And Oprah Winfrey married New Age quack Deepak Chopra and became Oprah Chopra.

Those were just three of the predictions made for 1999 by the world’s top tabloid psychics. Of course, there’s still time for the forecasts to come true. “We have a few days left before Jan. 1,” quips Gene Emery, a science writer who tracks psychic prognostications for Skeptical Inquirer magazine (https://www.csicop.org). “I don’t want to rush to judgment.”

But if past soothsaying is any guide, don’t expect much. In Emery’s two decades of charting such predictions, the accuracy rate is close to zero. This year’s crop doesn’t look much better, barring last-minute miracles. Among the forecast flops:

* An iceberg the size of California will threaten to wipe out Hawaii.

* O.J. Simpson will phone radio shock-jock Howard Stern and confess on the air that he killed his ex-wife. He’ll then recant, saying the confession was merely an April Fool’s joke, but will hang up abruptly when Stern points out that he’s calling in mid-July.

* Pope John Paul II will die in October.

* Wynonna Judd will quit country music to become a professional wrestler.

As for next year, Emery has seen only one prediction so far: A 3-foot dwarf will seek and nearly win the Democratic nomination for president (no, that isn’t a reference to Ross Perot).

Why are there so few forecasts for 2000? Maybe it’s because many psychics predict the end of the world for Jan. 1. You’ll know if they’re right on Jan. 2.