Dear Sweets,

Too bad we weren’t in a-f-f-l-u-e-n-t Newport Beach Sunday at dusk.

Get this: There was a $300,000-plus private birthday bash at Newport Dunes starring--are you belted in?--Tom Jones! Remember when we hit Vegas every fall--paid tons to see him sweat?

Seems this Dee Dee Anderson of Corona del Mar--a local benefactor who’s given millions to a high school project here called Sage Hill--has had a crush on Jones for years. Used to catch him on the Strip like we did.

Well, for her Big Five-Oh, her daughters--Brandy Valdez and Heather Gaughan--arranged to have Jones pop out of a 7-foot cake and sing his greatest hits! The tab for that alone: a cool $80,000.

This was a gig. For starters: 300 of Dee Dee’s nears and dears schmoozed inside a huge white tent. Sipped martinis from a 16-foot bar made out of ice. Hey--the cocktail tables were made of ice. They even had slot machines made of ice. The weirdest thing, though: There were pictures of Dee Dee frozen inside all this stuff. Kinda gives you chills, huh?

When it was time for dinner, curtains--motorized, no less--parted, and guests were invited to dine on salmon and filet of beef at tables draped in ivory damask. Chandeliers sparkled. This guy named Roger Hampton of Laguna Niguel--he owns event planning company Hampton Productions--planned it all. Told me he once tented Soldier Field in Chicago for a party starring Donna Summer and Blood, Sweat & Tears.

The topper: a knockout display of fireworks that had some neighbors calling the cops.

Guess they weren’t invited.

Ciao for now!