Need a Laugh? Mention Clinton

When U.S. Atty. Nora M. Manella was installed as a U.S. district judge in a ceremony at the downtown federal courthouse, her close friend Laurie Levenson spoke of Manella’s career ascent. Levenson, associate dean of the Loyola Law School, concluded by quipping, “And now, President Clinton has reached out and touched her--for this position.” The courtroom burst into laughter.

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THE OLD WEST IS NEW TO THEM: Carl Lawton of L.A. took some photos of a couple of old medieval cottages in rural England. Afterward, Lawton thanked the occupants, who turned out to be a Mrs. Wyatt and a Mrs. Earp. “I had to ask if they knew the significance of their respective names, as in Wyatt Earp of Western folklore,” Lawton said. “Wyatt Earp?” they answered. “Who’s that?”

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THE END IS NEAR, OR WE MIGHT ALL LIVE TO BE 1,000: In his new book, “Apocalypse Pretty Soon,” author Alex Heard surveys various doomsday and paranormal types around the country. Heard profiles some of them on his “Chicken Little Atlas” Web site (www.apocalypseprettysoon.com). The individuals are categorized by symbols (such as those shown).

Some Southern Californians mentioned:

* Brock d’Avignon, Lancaster: He hopes to establish “an independent nation on a man-made island in the South Pacific formed of buoyant blocks.” It would be called the Freedominium of Merica.

* Albert Taylor, L.A.: “Soul Traveler” is his account of his out-of-body experiences, including a July 1993 incident in which he found himself “literally floating above my body in the bedroom.”

* Ed Dames, PSI Tech Inc., Beverly Hills: Using his mental method of “technical remote viewing,” he can see into the future. Not always correctly, however. That volcanic eruption in Mammoth Lakes never occurred in 1998, for instance,

* Max More and Natasha Vita More, the Extropy Institute, Marina del Rey: They hope for the day, Heard said, when life spans will be hundreds--if not thousands--of years, through advanced technology, “bodybuilding, space colonization [and] mind expansion.”

* UNARIUS Academy of Science, El Cajon: The group believes that in 2001, spaceships from 32 other planets, each filled with kindly angels, will land here and “usher in perpetual peace, wisdom and harmony.” Landing spot: San Diego.

I’m surprised San Diego wasn’t outbid by Salt Lake City.

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OR MAYBE IT’S JUST ANOTHER GOVERNMENT CUTBACK: A colleague noticed that Lakewood’s name had been shortened on a theater ticket, possibly in honor of Valentine’s Day (see accompanying).

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NOTHING LIKE A LITTLE BATHROOM HUMOR: Reporting the results of a dog show in which one of the animals soiled the carpet, KABC sportscaster Bill Weir commented, “You almost never see this type of thing in the Miss America competition.”

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OOPS: Several readers pointed out that I said Claremont McKenna College was in Pomona when it’s actually in Claremont. Don’t know how I could have made that error.

miscelLAny:

Pomona College is in the city of Claremont.

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by dog sled at L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.