That’s One Problem; Now, About Rest . . .

“He improved the Lakers’ regular-season record in four consecutive years, a feat accomplished by only eight other coaches in NBA history.”

--Laker release, announcing Del Harris’ firing

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Yeah, and the other eight probably didn’t get canned in year five, either.

What is this, Comedy Central?

One day, we’re over at Planet Hollywood watching the new power forward break down and cry, after a three-week round of negotiations centering on movie deals and under-the-table payoffs that has half the front office considering therapy, retirement or alternate occupations.

The next, we’re at the Great Western Forum, which is at least a traditional venue for this kind of thing, watching the front office, which is clearly not having its best month, finish off the coach, kindly old Del Harris, because they’re afraid he has lost the team.

Lost the team? No kidding!

Who wouldn’t have lost this team? First of all, they don’t have a real power forward. Second, their makeshift power forward, Robert Horry, is out. Third, they’ve been expecting Dennis Rodman to ride over the hill and save them, momentarily . . . for three weeks . . . so that even the ones who were pushing it, such as Shaquille O’Neal, are embarrassed they ever brought it up. Fourth, there’s this other deal pending, which will send Eddie Jones and Elden Campbell to Charlotte for Glen Rice, B.J. Armstrong and J.R Reid.

Rice is out after arthroscopic surgery to remove bone spurs from his right (shooting) elbow. The Lakers would like to see him make a shot or two before consummating the deal.

That leaves two more players, Jones and Campbell, whose heads are spinning around like Linda Blair’s in “The Exorcist.”

Then there’s Rick Fox, who was supposed to be the starting small forward, which is why he--again--turned down a multiyear, $10-million deal in Atlanta for a one-year deal here. Not only has he been unexpectedly superseded by Kobe Bryant, he knows he’ll soon be superseded by Rice. Think Atlanta doesn’t look pretty good to Fox right now?

These guys’ eyes rolled back in the second half at Seattle Sunday night. They revived briefly the next night at Denver, but when the Nuggets rained in all those three-pointers on them at the end, they voted themselves a vacation until they got home and were reinforced.

Lost the team? If Delmer had any sense, he would have been hiding from it.

The incredible thing is, there might not be a single Laker, perhaps not even owner Jerry Buss, the most impatient of them to restore the past glories and the one most convinced Harris was holding his thoroughbreds back, who doesn’t think Del did a fine job and got a bad deal.

They were a 33-49 rag-tag bunch when he arrived, succeeding Magic Johnson, who went off his gourd in his 5-11 stint, ripping his young players as clueless and uncoachable. Johnson confided later only one, Doug Christie, had ever approached him and asked him a question in three weeks on the job. And Christie was traded the following season.

With nothing but holdovers plus newly acquired Cedric Ceballos, Harris turned up the offense, went 48-34 and was named coach of the year.

Of course, Harris’ point guard, Nick Van Exel, refused to enter a game at Portland. Harris intervened with West to keep the punishment light, trying to get Van Exel past it as fast as possible.

The next regular season was highlighted by Johnson’s comeback and Ceballos’ vacation on a houseboat on Lake Havasu City.

Then in the playoffs, Magic said he didn’t understand Harris’ game plan--to reporters--after Game 1 against the Rockets and there went that spring.

Having finished 51-31, however, they were now respectable enough to sign O’Neal, which was Harris’ biggest gift to the Lakers. Two more seasons like the ones they’d had before he arrived and Shaq, who almost re-signed with Orlando anyway, wouldn’t even have considered them.

With O’Neal, their victory totals climbed to 56 and 61 . . . while Shaq missed 31 and 21 games, respectively.

Of course, there were those misadventures with Utah in the playoffs (4-1 in 1997, 4-0 in 1998), with many more battles between Harris and Van Exel. After last spring’s, Van Exel got O’Neal mad too and was exiled to Denver.

This was supposed to be Harris’ season to see what he could do without Van Exel. Unfortunately, it made the previous seasons look like the good old days when harmony ruled.

Oh, and it only lasted 12 games.

I know out there in radio-talk-show land, everything is the coach’s fault, and in the real sense, it was too late for Delmer. He was gored badly last season, when word got out Buss was gunning for him, which Buss all but formally confirmed this season by refusing him a courtesy one-year extension.

There’s nothing lamer than a coach whose players know he’s working against the clock, since they start to count off the seconds with him, and that’s what Harris was, until Wednesday, anyway.

No, it wasn’t his fault. He never had a chance. The good thing is, Harris just became a martyr. The shame belongs to the Lakers.