HEADED TO A SWAP MEET?

In lieu of flowers, contributions will be accepted for Coach Steve Mariucci’s going-away party.

It’s that time of year again: The San Francisco 49ers play the Green Bay Packers, the 49ers’ season ends . . . 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998 . . . the 49ers’ management goes bonkers.

There are reports in San Francisco that if Mariucci loses Sunday’s playoff opener against Green Bay, he will be shaking hands at game’s end with the 49ers’ next coach: Mike Holmgren.

Mariucci, who grew up 100 miles from Green Bay and was Brett Favre’s quarterback coach there, will then replace Holmgren.

A few parting gift suggestions: parka, mittens, an insulated Cheesehead.

Sounds preposterous: Mariucci is 26-8 in two seasons, admired by his players and 16-0 in regular-season games in 3Com Park with three years remaining on his contract.

But then George Seifert won two Super Bowls for this team, had the best winning percentage in NFL history and a year left on his contract before he lost three times to Green Bay and was pressured to leave, the brass appearing to go wacky by hiring Mariucci, a college coach with a 6-6 record.

Ronnie Lott, Joe Montana, Bill Walsh . . . with this team no one is secure. A month ago Mariucci had three proposals for a contract extension in his briefcase, but when he failed to immediately accept one, they were changed and then withdrawn.

Even Mariucci has acknowledged what everyone else is talking about.

“There have been rumors for the longest time, not only with the 49ers but around the league,” Mariucci said.

Green Bay safety LeRoy Butler went even further this week: “There’s a saying we say in the streets: ‘You ain’t got no number.’ . . . Eight million. Whatever. . . . That’s what the 49ers are going to tell Mike’s agent if they lose.”

If they lose? That’s the only thing anyone can be sure of around here.

The air of uncertainty surrounding the 49ers could be cleared quickly with an easy vote of confidence or explanation from management, but the lights are out upstairs.

Eddie DeBartolo signed control of the team over to his sister, Denise York, who resides in Youngstown, Ohio, while he dealt with legal problems in Louisiana. York immediately made it clear she wanted nothing to do with the team.

Carmen Policy went to Cleveland and took personnel director Dwight Clark with him. Some Nashville-based accountant/attorney named Larry Thrailkill took over management of the 49ers and had to be told who Steve Young was.

Thrailkill hasn’t been seen in San Francisco since Dec. 14. Mariucci says he hasn’t heard from Thrailkill since then.

Happy new year, Steve?

Former 49er general manager John McVay returned recently to make coffee and answer the phones, fueling rumors he was hired by DeBartolo, who is prohibited in his agreement with his sister to have any dealings with the team. Can’t imagine DeBartolo breaking the rules.

Now there are reports Bill Walsh is coming back, which makes no sense. Hired as a consultant with the hiring of Mariucci two years ago, Mariucci asked him to appraise the talents of college quarterbacks Jim Druckenmiller and Jake Plummer, and then never asked Walsh whom the 49ers should select. The 49ers took Druckenmiller, providing further evidence that Walsh, who likened Plummer to Montana, was not being heeded.

Walsh eventually disappeared, reduced to writing a column for the Sporting News--he should stick to coaching. Mariucci, meanwhile, made it known he would like more Walsh-like power in selecting personnel.

He couldn’t sweep the Atlanta Falcons, however, and lost the NFC West Division title, which for folks up here is akin to jumping off the big bridge. Now he is looking at an early exit from the playoffs, compliments of the Packers.

His only loss at home came against the Packers in last year’s title game. He lost to Green Bay again this season.

Barry Switzer could have done better, and did in Dallas in replacing a legend (a la Walsh and Seifert) in Jimmy Johnson--winning a Super Bowl. Maybe DeBartolo has a point--get me somebody who can beat Green Bay--although we know DeBartolo isn’t calling the shots. That would be breaking the rules.

Now Walsh is expected back, the latest Bay Area bombshell, and wonder who’s idea that was? The guy who wouldn’t break the rules.

But why would Holmgren reject a contract offer of almost $4 million a year from Green Bay for the opportunity to become a general manager/head coach elsewhere, and return to San Francisco with “the Genius” looking over his shoulder?

The 49ers are prohibited from making contact with Holmgren until the season is over, and if you believe that would keep DeBartolo from getting word to Holmgren that the job is his in San Francisco, you might want to ask Santa Claus what he thinks.

But why would Holmgren sign off on Walsh’s return--even under the provision that it will be only for a short time? Anyone knowing Walsh--all of his proclamations to the contrary--he cannot help himself from going too far. If DeBartolo has been in contact with Holmgren--even through a third party--there’s no way Holmgren would agree to Walsh’s return.

More intrigue: Why would Holmgren want to coach the 49ers, a team with an old man playing quarterback, the NFL’s best wide receiver now a step slower but more selfish than ever, and a defense that lacks only one thing: good players.

The answer, of course, has nothing to do with the 49ers. Who wants to live in Green Bay? Holmgren grew up in San Francisco, and while San Francisco is not the ideal place to thaw out after seven years in Green Bay, the Californian’s other options are limited: Carolina and Washington.

DeBartolo, meanwhile, offers Holmgren a chance to have Bill Parcells and Dan Reeves-like control and a track record of success, and every indication suggests DeBartolo will be running the 49ers again.

DeBartolo accepted a guilty plea agreement in Louisiana, but NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue has refused to provide clearance for DeBartolo’s return to control, saying a league investigation will not be concluded until after the season.

For the 49ers, of course, that’s Sunday.

There has been some thought that Tagliabue would suspend DeBartolo, but the league is more interested in holding together a deal for a new stadium, including $100 million in public money, which is in danger of being lost without DeBartolo’s involvement. Tagliabue might still suspend DeBartolo for appearances, but make it time served, retroactive to when he recused himself from day-to-day operations last year.

What if Mariucci beats the Packers?

Get serious. In the last five meetings, Green Bay has taken leads of 21-0, 6-0, 21-0, 10-0 and 16-0. Green Bay has outscored San Francisco, 54-6, in the first quarter in those five victories.

“Until you have beaten Green Bay you really haven’t done a whole lot,” 49er safety Tim McDonald said. “It’s definitely a hurdle we have to overcome.”

Try leaping Mt. Everest. The Packers beat the 49ers this season without running back Dorsey Levens but have him back. San Francisco has Garrison Hearst, who is unable to practice because of a sore hamstring.

Both teams lack the cornerbacks to cover the opposition, but the Packers rank No. 4 on defense and the 49ers No. 23--a difference of 19--the same number of points that Green Bay will win by Sunday.

Then that postgame handshake.

“I have more respect than you can imagine for Steve Mariucci,” said Butler, the best player on the Packers’ defense. “I love Mariucci. He’s great.”

It’s never too early to start sucking up to your new boss.

TODAY

AFC: Buffalo (10-6) at Miami (10-6), 9:30 a.m., Channel 7

NFC: Arizona (9-7) at Dallas (10-6), 1 p.m., Channel 7

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SUNDAY

AFC: New England (9-7) at Jacksonville (11-5), 9:30 a.m., Channel 2

NFC: Green Bay (11-5) at San Francisco (12-4), 1:15 p.m., Channel 11