These Ideas Are Truly Alarming

Question from June 29:

What should come with an alarm?


People who are clueless should have a blinking light on the tops of their heads. It would save so much time and frustration!




Men. When a woman confesses her feelings to her date and wants to know how he feels about her, a verbal alarm sounds: "Please back away from the man. You are becoming too close."


Rancho Palos Verdes


Jerry Falwell's mouth.


Sherman Oaks


The alarm of the future: A car alarm that rings in the person who owns the car and not at the car itself. An improvement would be a remote control that would create a disturbance to the owner and not the entire neighborhood.




I would buy a refrigerator with an alarm in it that when opened . . . played loud, obnoxious music! That would surely deter me from visiting the fridge.

--DI CARTER, Beverly Hills


Calista Flockhart Refrigerator: Alarm blares if fridge has not been opened in three days.

--MARK MILLER, Los Angeles


Diapers! A soft alarm for wet only and a major shriek alarm for (to be polite) a real stinker!




Livin' La Vida LocAlarm--blares when hip-swivel RPM reaches the danger zone, to the title tune of course.


Los Angeles


An alarm should go off every time a dog owner doesn't pick up Fido's mess. I'm tired of finding these "presents" on my front lawn--or on the bottom of my shoe."


Question for July 6:

The usual suspects--Can you spell soda?--sold ads during the Women's World Cup. But one company, producer of feminine hygiene products, dazzled us with ads as well. Which companies should sign up for the next women's games?

Send replies of 25 words or fewer to Smart Aleck, SoCal Living, The Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or e-mail Include your name and hometown.

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