LAUGH LINES

A New Foreign Policy: Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak and PLO leader Yasser Arafat held talks last week. “In a little known development, they decided to settle their differences with 10 penalty kicks on the White House lawn.” (Argus Hamilton)

House Hunting: The Clintons are looking for a house in New York. The president, who plans to split his time between the city and Arkansas, had promised Hillary he’d live anywhere she wanted after he left office. “How much are doghouses running these days anyway?” (Daily Scoop)

Happy Birthday: Former President Gerald Ford turned 86 last week. “What do you get for a guy who’s fallen over everything?” (Steve Voldseth)

Sports Report: After winning the World Cup, members of the U.S. women’s soccer team apologized for not scoring during regulation play. “There was no need to apologize to us. Hey, we have the Dodgers, the Clippers, the Lakers. We’re used to people not scoring!” (Jay Leno)

On the Newsstand: Oprah Winfrey plans to publish her own magazine. “It’ll fluctuate between 125 and 150 pages.” (Zack Taylor)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.