LAUGH LINES

On the Campaign Trail: Al Gore has said he wants government and religion to be partners. “Oh that’s a good idea. I mean, it worked so well in Iran, didn’t it?” (Jay Leno)

On the Campaign Trail II: Gov. George W. Bush reportedly plans to portray himself as the ultimate political outsider. “I love when candidates do this, they always like to say, ‘I know nothing about politics.’ You know, politics is the only business where people are happy to brag that they have no experience.” (Leno)

Help Wanted: After serving as chaplain in the House of Representatives for 20 years, James D. Ford is retiring. “It will be a tough position to fill. Who wants to try to save the souls of that many people who have made deals with the devil?” (Jerry Perisho)

Silly Science: New photos from the Hubble telescope show a newly discovered, blue super-giant star that’s surrounded by gas and a number of small stars. “Wouldn’t it have been easier to just tune in to ‘The New Hollywood Squares’?” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

The Healthy Skies: Chicago’s O’Hare airport now has heart defibrillator machines in corridors. “They’ll be used to revive passengers whose connecting flights arrive on time.” (Perisho)

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