Perhaps It Was a Political Brawl

Seal Beach police recently received a report of a barroom tussle involving a large man described as looking “like the governor of Minnesota.” Good to hear that Gray Davis is not a suspect.

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HOME FURNISHINGS FOR THE ADVENTUROUS: Today we bring you some decorating ideas noticed by readers (see accompanying), including:

* Windows that are a real pain (from Jim Kropf)

* A chained breakfast table (from Dave Anderson, who comments, “Sounds like a special way to keep the kids at the table.”)

* And, finally, a piece of “parkay” furniture (perhaps I should have saved this for a “Food for Thought” item). It must be valuable, though, since it’s guarded by armed chairs.

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BUT WILL THE KING HIMSELF SHOW UP? Plans have been announced to build a museum called Dick Clark’s American Music Experience at the Queen Mary complex. Memorabilia will include the cape that Elvis wore during his last performance in Las Vegas. Obviously, it will be in a very large display case.

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L.A. INSULT OF THE DAY: Boston writer Roy Harris spotted it in the Washington, D.C., magazine Capital Style. The publication came up with this description of a gathering of a half-dozen Angelenos in West L.A., including “Simpsons” creator Matt Groening, radio’s Michael Jackson and writer Christopher Hitchens:

“An improbable cross-section of Los Angeles intelligentsia has gathered in the plush living room of Arianna Huffington’s Brentwood mansion. Come to think of it, maybe this IS the Los Angeles intelligentsia.”

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TEN YEARS AGO: Remember the water crisis? A decade ago, The Times reported that Ventura city officials were studying the possibility of hauling icebergs from the polar caps and planting them off the county’s shores. I never could understand why such a simple plan couldn’t be worked out.

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HANDY SHOPPING GUIDE: Pat Mooney points out that the Del Amo Mall straddles Carson Boulevard while the Carson Mall is on Del Amo Boulevard. Makes sense, she said, in the same way that it does to park in a driveway and drive on a parkway.

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AT LEAST THEY DON’T MAKE YOU DO THE DISHES: As you’ve probably noticed, many businesses now use euphemisms instead of the word “customer.” Just the other night I was standing in line in an El Pollo Loco and the clerk said to me, “Next guest.” What a nice, down-home touch, I thought. But then it occurred to me that when I have guests at my house for dinner, I don’t make them pay for it. So, as honored as I felt to be a dinner guest of El Pollo Loco, I don’t think I’ll send the company a thank-you note, after all.

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NOW THAT’S MAID SERVICE: In “Haunted Places: The National Directory,” author Dennis William Hauck mentions a house where a ghost known as “Mrs. Walker” is “obsessed with cleaning . . . The tinkling of crystal chandeliers can be heard as the ghost cleans them, and two chandeliers have fallen from the ceiling for no apparent reason.” Naturally, the house is in Beverly Hills.

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Hauck also lists, among his haunted places in downtown L.A., Times Mirror Square, underneath which a lost civilization of “Lizard People” was said to have built a subterranean city. Yes, I’m talking about ghosts at the L.A. Times. I might add that none of this column has been written by Steve Harvey.

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Steve Harvey can sometimes be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.