LAUGH LINES

On the Campaign Trail: Potential Republican presidential candidate George W. Bush promised not to raise taxes if he is elected president. “Meet the new Bush. Same as the old Bush.” (Daily Scoop)

. . . Oh, My!: Al Gore isn’t enjoying total support among Democrats. “Some feel he’s too liberal, others fear he’s been tainted by the Clinton scandals, and the rest worry that he may get caught in the rain without his oil can.” (Alex Kaseberg)

At the Box Office: Movie theaters plan to ask for IDs to make sure kids are old enough to see R-rated movies. “You can see why they’re going with this strategy. I mean, it worked so well to keep kids away from alcohol and tobacco.” (Jay Leno)

Criminal Behavior: James Charles Copp, who is accused in the slaying of a doctor who performed abortions, and international terrorist Osama bin Laden are new to the FBI’s “10 Most Wanted” list. “Atty. Gen. Janet Reno warned that bin Laden and Copp are dangerous fugitives with one thing in common: a chilling, psychopathic disrespect for shaving.” (Jon Stewart)

Log Off: A computer virus last week was spread by attachments accompanying e-mail. “Once again, proving that old proverb: Beware of geeks bearing gifts.” (Will Couzin)

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