Grieving Mother Haunted by Crash Scene

She cannot shake the memory of the screech, then, the thump. At first, Pam Wiener thought it was an earthquake. But then came the screams. And then, this: Her tiny son lying just a few feet away, fatally injured.

In the days since two toddlers were killed when a Cadillac plunged into a Costa Mesa playground, Wiener has been haunted by a scene that no mother should have to endure. She was only yards away from her boy and was getting ready to take him home for the night when the unimaginable happened.

“I went into the office to sign Brandon out,” she said softly, speaking publicly for the first time on Wednesday. “Like I do every day.”

As Wiener was writing, the Cadillac, driven by Steven Allen Abrams, crashed through the fence of the Southcoast Early Childhood Learning Center.

In the confused, panicked seconds following the commotion, she thought 3-year-old Brandon was safe in the giant sandbox where he usually could be found at the end of the day. She ran to the playground, reached the car, wedged up against a tree, and saw Sierra Soto’s crumpled body lying in the dirt. She knelt down to comfort the little girl, realizing she might well be dead.

“I said, ‘You’re going to be OK, baby, you’re going to be OK.’ ” But Sierra wasn’t OK: She had probably died instantly.

Suddenly, Wiener thought to look for Brandon. “I was looking for my baby and I couldn’t find him,” she said, clutching at a recent photo of her tow-headed son. “Then someone said he was under the car.”

Teachers and other parents stepped between Wiener and the Cadillac to prevent her from seeing her son’s battered body.

He was unconscious but alive when he was taken to Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian in Newport Beach. It was there he died at 7 p.m., about two hours after the children were struck.

Wiener and husband Aaron have this small comfort: Brandon held on until they reached his hospital bed to say goodbye.

“He fought hard,” said Wiener, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. “The doctors had given up at one point. I said, ‘Please come back, Brandon. We need you.’ He tried, but he couldn’t.”

Since the tragedy, the family has kept to their modest stucco duplex in Costa Mesa, learning to cope with the grief. Dominating the front room are large photographs of their three children and photo collages of family snapshots.

Wiener--a bookkeeper at a Newport Beach pest-control company--and her husband have taken time off from work to mourn and make Brandon’s funeral arrangements, including plans to bury him with his beloved teddy bear, his “baby.”

Between solemn visits from neighbors, they cuddle with their 18-month-old daughter. Wearing a pink-striped shirt and with perfect blond curls, little Shaya scampers from her mom to her dad, seeking attention.

Wiener said her emotions run wild: She tries to be strong. Then she collapses in a crying jag. She prays. Then she rails at God.

Brandon wasn’t supposed to be the next grave in a family plot at Mount Sinai Memorial Park, she says.

Her 13-year-old son, Justin, is shellshocked. Brandon looked up to his older brother and wanted to go to day-care to have the feeling of going to school, just like Justin, Wiener recalled.

“My oldest child is taking it really hard,” said Wiener, twisting her Mickey Mouse watch. “He won’t even talk about it.”

The Wieners are bewildered and anguished by allegations that the driver who took the life of their child was motivated by an urge to exact revenge on the neighborhood.

“I can’t understand how someone could hurt innocent children,” said Wiener, sobbing. “It’s not fair.”

Authorities filed murder charges Wednesday against Abrams, who police at the scene said confessed to ramming his car into the crowded playground on purpose. If convicted, he could be sentenced to death.

For now, the Wieners don’t let tiny Shaya stray from their sight. The blare of the television is a welcome distraction. They must save enough energy to make it through the heartbreak of Brandon’s funeral Friday.

“We’re just trying to make the best of it and be strong for the kids,” said Wiener, her voice catching in the back of her throat. “I’m trying very hard.”

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Brandon will be buried Friday at noon at Mount Sinai Memorial Park at 5950 Forest Lawn Drive in Los Angeles. A memorial service for Sierra Soto will be held at Mariner’s South Coast Church, 5120 Bonita Canyon Drive, in Irvine at 1:30 p.m. Friday.