Grieving Mom’s Day

On a day devoted to mothers, Pamela Wiener stood brokenhearted outside a benefit carwash held in Huntington Beach in memory of her son, one of two youngsters killed by a motorist who steered his car into a day-care playground.

“This is incredible, and everybody has been so wonderful,” said Wiener, who said she was overwhelmed by the support that has flowed mostly from strangers who have been moved by her loss. “It is a shame for a tragedy to have to happen to bring people together like this, people who don’t even know me.”

Wiener’s son, Brandon, 3, and Sierra Beth Soto, 4, were killed one week ago when Steve Abrams, 39, drove his car into the Southcoast Early Childhood Learning Center in Costa Mesa. Five other people were injured, including Nicholas McHardy, 2, and Victoria Sherman, 5, who were earlier reported in critical condition at Western Medical Center-Santa Ana. Their families have since asked that no further information be released.

Abrams, of Santa Ana, has been charged with two counts of murder. Police said he deliberately ran his car into the preschool yard because he was frustrated about his failed attempts to have a relationship with a woman who lived near the playground.

The incident triggered a remarkable outpouring of support. Flowers, cards and balloons have been placed outside the day-care center. Strangers have called the school, offering everything from toys to play mats. And thousands of dollars have been raised to help the family with burial costs.

On Sunday, a benefit carwash was organized for the Wieners by the Woodses, three generations of a Costa Mesa family that felt the need to reach out and help. Wiener stopped by the event about 1 p.m. Sunday to thank the hosts, some of whom she had never met. At one point, as she wiped tears from her face, she said she was struggling to make it through a day when many are celebrating the joys of motherhood.

“It is very difficult,” she said. “Very difficult.”

Wiener stayed a short time before leaving to take Brandon’s siblings, Shaya, 2, and Justin, 13, to the San Fernando Valley to be with her mother on Mother’s Day.

But other friends stayed behind to help.

“This is a Mother’s Day I will never forget,” said Mary Ann Kay of Costa Mesa, a family friend. “I couldn’t think of a better way to spend it.”

The Woods family described their generosity as a gesture of community and hoped the money would help cover some of the family’s funeral costs. But Tammy Woods stressed that it wasn’t just about money. “We want to let them know there are people who care,” Tammy Woods said, “that there is some kindness that can come out of what happened.”

A continuous stream of cars lined up for the carwash, even though it wasn’t the perfect day to do so: windy, partly cloudy and overcast near the beach. But it didn’t matter to those who came. One person arrived on bicycle to make a donation. Another volunteered $60 for a wash. Almost none knew the Wieners but decided to come after learning of the event.

In the first four hours, volunteers washed more than 100 vehicles, asking a donation of $5 for each wash. Some of the vehicles were old and beat up, and clearly had not seen a hose and suds in some time.

Sarah Thomas of Huntington Beach came by with her husband after having brunch to celebrate the day. A grandmother, her children and grandchildren live out of state.

“It is a terrible thing to lose a child,” she said. “This is Mother’s Day for me.”

Some people made several trips to the carwash, which was hosted at a 76 gas station.

John Tyo of Huntington Beach brought both his cars. “We thought it was such a terrible tragedy,” he said. “It’s great they are doing this.”

“There is not another way to spend Mother’s Day, but to help another mother,” said Laura Woods of Costa Mesa.