LAUGH LINES

On the Campaign Trail: According to Beltway insiders, Vice President Al Gore is furious at President Clinton for telling reporters he’s worried about Gore’s presidential campaign. “Gore’s aides knew he was furious when he suddenly and unexpectedly blinked, and then blurted, ‘Fiddlesticks!’ One aide described him as ‘stark-raving miffed.’ ” (Craig Kilborn)

Party Line: The House has moved to double the president’s salary from $200,000 to $400,000 a year. “It’s not going to cost us, the taxpayers, a dime . . . . The extra $200,000 is coming from the Chinese.” (Jay Leno)

Number’s Up: Ehud Barak beat out Benjamin Netanyahu in Israel’s race for prime minister. “Barak gained 56% of the vote, or an even more impressive 65% if you read from right to left.” (Jon Stewart)

Change of Address: The post office has come out with a new stamp that puts the Grand Canyon in Colorado. “Apparently the error got through because no one wanted to tell postal workers they had made a mistake.” (Conan O’Brien)

Changing Channels: NBC will broadcast the unauthorized story of Jesse Ventura. “The Minnesota governor is upset he didn’t have script approval. He always had it for his wrestling matches.” (Gary Easley)

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