Chris Dufresne’s Top 25

1. Florida State (10-0) “Any of those other dad-gum states playing football, Steve?”

2. Florida (9-1) “Shoot no, Bobby, we’ve got the market cornered on calling ball plays.”

3. Virginia Tech (9-0) Rankman so impressed after visit to V-Tech he’s going to build a home there.

4. Nebraska (9-1) There, that ought to shut K-State up for another 30 years.

5. Wisconsin (9-2) Holy cow! We lost to Cincinnati and still rank this high?

6. Texas (9-2) Rankman already booking restaurant reservations in Austin for next year.

7. Tennessee (7-2) After losing historic battle of Fayetteville, Vol troops retreat to Fort Knoxville.

8. Marshall (10-0) Trying to use frequent flyer miles to upgrade to a first-class bowl game.

9. Alabama (8-2) Kids running wild, bills don’t get paid, banks closed. Yep, it must be Auburn week.

10. Michigan (8-2) School wondering if lowly Ohio State would like to discontinue the series.

11. Penn State (9-2) Paterno still thinks team has excellent shot at Tangerine Bowl.

12. Georgia Tech (7-2) Hamilton studies Dewey-Truman race to see if he has longshot chance of winning Heisman.

13. Arkansas (6-3) Gore owes Clinton a jar of pickled pigs feet after big win over Tennessee.

14. Mississippi State (8-1) Sugar Bowl orders fireworks display to celebrate Bulldogs’ loss to Alabama.

15. Michigan State (8-2) Saban promises not to run it up on Paterno.

16. Kansas State (9-1) Really thought nonconference schedule would toughen team up for Nebraska.

17. Minnesota (7-3) Football team refers to hoops building as “House of Tutors.”

18. Mississippi (7-2) Team hopes it doesn’t go sunny-side up before Egg Bowl on Nov. 26.

19. Southern Mississippi (7-3) Rankman imposing a “two Mississippi” maximum for next year’s poll.

20. Georgia (6-3) Dear Uga: The next big game your Bulldogs win will be the first.

21. Purdue (6-4) At Indiana this week; beware crazy hoops coach with hunting rifle!

22. Brigham Young (8-2) Team suffering severe saddle burn after loss to Wyoming Cowboys.

23. Boston College (7-2) Looking to introduce top-notch brand of Catholic ‘ball to South Benders this weekend.

24. Stanford (6-3) In dogfight with Buffalo for 114th spot in national defense.

25. Hawaii (7-3) Rankman proposes to boss five-week trip to islands for in-depth story.