SIMERS’ RANKINGS
Top 5
1. Miami
Crime does pay.
2. Tennessee
Definition of a charmed life: playing the 49ers without Steve Young, running game, any defensive backs.
3. New England
Life without Bill Parcells isn’t so bad.
4. Dallas
If only Cowboys could have back-to-back byes, as wacky as things are going, they could become the league’s top team.
5. St. Louis
The end of the world.
Bottom 5
27. San Diego
Chargers couldn’t sack Peyton Manning, but defensive end Chris Mims gets credit for stealing four tacos from man.
28. Atlanta
As soon as Jamal Anderson went down for the year, Chris Chandler felt another twinge in his hamstring.
29. Denver
Al Davis had a point: This guy Shanahan can’t coach a lick.
30. New York Jets
The way the Jets are playing you’d think Bob Davie was calling plays for Rick Mirer.
31. Cleveland
Oddsmakers are already making them a seven-point underdog to lose to Ovitz’s new team.
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