Top 5 Teams on Move to L.A.

1. Oakland--Al Davis has been preoccupied with litigation and expansion, which explains why the Raiders are playing better than anyone else.

2. Minnesota--The Vikings are used to playing indoors, why not play in the Staples Center? Everyone else is.

3. Arizona--It’s Bill Bidwill’s only chance to go to Disneyland.

4. Buffalo--As long as Marv Levy coaches, and Jim Kelly, Thurman Thomas and Andre Reed play.

5. San Francisco--The 49ers will leave their name and colors behind and be known as the L.A. Express with Steve Young at quarterback.

Top 5 Overrated Teams to Date

1. St. Louis--Imagine if the undefeated Rams were still in Southern California, the excitement, the hoopla, the party--certainly a few people would get together to watch. OK, a couple.

2. Dallas--The Super Bowl is in Atlanta, a city overloaded with strip clubs, explaining Michael Irvin’s inspiration to get there.

3. New England--No one has apparently yelled “boo” yet at Drew Bledsoe.

4. Jacksonville--Tom Coughlin wanted to be head coach and offensive coordinator. What’s wrong with batting .500?

5. San Diego--The Mighty Ducks have a more dynamic offense.