Presumably, He Draws Line With Groin Injuries

New York Jet Coach Bill Parcells has a knack for diagnostic medical examinations. For example, when Wayne Chrebet had a sprained ankle last year, Parcells went up to the wide receiver and kicked him on the injured joint to gauge his pain threshold.

Similarly, he poked former quarterback Glenn Foley in the ribs to judge just how sore they were.

“That wasn’t a malicious thing,” Parcells said. “My college coach used to do that to me to find out if something was hurt. You can tell a lot.”

Just call Parcells Dr. Pain.

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Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for the longest punt return?

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Fight on Texians? Some suggested names for Houston’s new NFL franchise: Roughnecks, Roughriders, Roustabouts, Wranglers, Toros and Texians.

Texian was the name used for Anglo inhabitants back when Texas was part of Mexico.

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Sure you would: Dallas Cowboy owner Jerry Jones, talking about new Houston owner Bob McNair: “Let me tell you how I feel about Bob. I would have carried him piggyback across the desert to have him as a partner.”

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A bargain: Mickey Herskowitz of the Houston Chronicle on the 35-year-old Astrodome: “The price tag for the building, including the luxury suites and exploding video scoreboard, came in at $31.5 million, not much more than what you would pay today for season tickets for a family of four.”

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Successful production: St. Louis Ram receivers Isaac Bruce, Az-Zahir Hakim and Torry Holt are calling themselves “Warner Bros.” after quarterback Kurt Warner. In case you were wondering, Hakim’s Muslim name Az-Zahir means “appearance of a high, wise counselor.”

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All washed up? Mike Monroe in the Denver Post: “You’re not going to believe what Bison Dele nee Brian Williams is retiring from basketball to do, unless you know him well enough that you know [not] to be surprised at nothing he decides: Dele is running a water-treatment plan in Beirut, Lebanon.”

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Trivia answer: Robert Bailey of the Los Angeles Rams, 103 yards, against New Orleans on Oct. 23, 1994.

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And finally: Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune on the Houston Astros: “Which is worse, getting clocked again by the inevitable Atlanta Braves or being booed out of your own building in the very last game you will ever play in it?

“The Astros--or Gas-tros, as they are called this time of the year--made a very poor lasting impression on Saturday, most notably the two stars of the team, Jeff Bagwell and Craig Biggio.

“As the beaten bunch tried to linger just long enough to take a final look around the Astrodome, while police parked on horses dared any souvenir hunters to steal--what? carpet lint, I guess--the fans behind the home dugout clutched their throats and made gagging sounds.”