Section Gee! Advice, Humor, Comics, Horoscope, Kids : LAUGH LINES

On the Campaign Trail: George W. Bush so far has raised more money than all the other Republican candidates combined. “It’s so much that his nose has a street value of more than $5 million.” (Jay Leno)

Keeping the Peace: The U.S. paid $4.5 million to the victims of NATO’s bombing of the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade. “Clinton also threw in three more nuclear secrets and two Chinese lobbyists to be named later.” (Joshua Sostrin)

Such a Deal: The Clinton Administration recently eased trade restrictions between the U.S. and Cuba. “Now, we can send them wheat, rice and medicine. In return, they can send us utility infielders, middle relievers and an occasional starting pitcher.” (Jerry Perisho)

Changing Channels: Debuting on NBC this season will be “The West Wing,” starring Martin Sheen as the president. “It would be more realistic if Charlie Sheen played the president.” (Argus Hamilton)

We Apologize in Advance: The Dalai Lama has finished up his tour of the U.S. “The spiritual leader of Tibet said he had the time of his lives.” (Daily Scoop)

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