HER WORLD : Straight-From-the-Lip Responses to Our Survey on Travel and Gender

In this space recently, I asked readers to respond to a little survey--personal and highly unscientific--about travel and gender (“Are Women’s Travel Habits Different From Men’s? Yes--and Vive la Difference,” Aug. 15). A week later, I’d received 160 responses--and I expect to get further mail from social scientists criticizing my research methods. But the survey was just for fun, and the results were tabulated all by me, not, as one droll respondent suggested, by my “male assistant.”

More than one person thought I had an ax to grind. One woman found the questions “leading and, to be honest, a bit childish.” Another wrote: “Your questions play into conventional stereotypes. I find that the differences [between the way men and women travel] can often be attributed to the degree to which the woman or man travels.” Noting that most travel agencies, hotels, airlines and tour companies are primarily staffed by women, a third person commented, “I think that the woman traveler is doing just fine, and needs only good service, like all of us.”

But others thought that the column, which explored the differences between male and female travelers, made a significant point: that the travel industry for too long has been studying the habits of men only, leaving women’s opinions out. For heaven’s sake, at the turn of the century a woman couldn’t even check into a hotel room without her father or husband along, according to one expert, Lalia Rach, dean of the Center for Hospitality, Tourism and Travel Administration at New York University.

One woman respondent, who took my poll quite seriously, said, “Your study is hugely important because it’s not an issue of who brings more luggage; it’s an issue of getting women out into the world safely. In doing this study you will be informing an industry that has been catering mostly to men.” And another person wrote: “Most hotel execs, males such as myself, are still in the early stages of awareness about who travels and makes decisions. Give ‘em a little more time. Their mommies are still trying to raise some of ‘em right.”

About three times as many women responded to the survey as men. There was lots of commentary, and some people answered questions I didn’t ask--such as: Who pockets hotel toiletries? (“Women,” one respondent said, though she added, “They are free, aren’t they?”) And some questions I did ask were considered by some respondents to have little to do with gender (Who’d rather stay at home than vacation? Who leaves stingy tips? Who makes a mess in hotel rooms?). One women cracked that her little sister can turn any room into a disaster area: “Towels jump off the rack when she approaches.” And the stingy-tips question got some surprise answers: fat cats and people who’ve never waited on tables, among others.

Okay, so maybe I was pulling people’s chains a bit. I did try to make it clear that I know there are exceptions to all stereotypes. And the very day the article appeared, this fact was clearly demonstrated. I had complained in the column about flying with men who assume both armrests on airline seats belong to them. I had an aisle seat on a flight home from New York that Sunday, and next to me was a lanky young man with a toddler. He took the center seat, even though it left him obviously cramped and uncomfortable. Still, as the plane rose off the runway, he turned to me and said, “Please let me know if I get in your way. I’d hate to make you uncomfortable.”

Here are the survey results, with a few of my favorite comments:

Who overpacks? 119 said women, 34 said men. (“Between my fiance and myself, I would say the man overpacks. But most men don’t, so I will say Gemini men.”)

Are women or men more likely to ask strangers for directions? 128 said women, 11 said men. (“When he got lost, my father refused to ask a stranger where the church was, and I was 15 minutes late to my wedding.”)

Who prefers shopping as a vacation activity? 120 said women, 10 said men. (“Strangely [to me] it is my husband who really likes shopping on vacation--so long as he is never required to try anything on.”)

Who’s more likely to plan a romantic getaway? 79 said women, 57 said men. (“Women. Sometimes, they even include their husbands!”)

Who’d rather stay home? 12 said women, 101 said men. (“Depends on where we would be traveling. Camping trip? I’d stay home. Paris? I’m gone.”)

Who leaves stingy tips? Nearly even. 58 said women, 51 said men. (“We all know women sneak extra tip money after their husbands have turned to walk out.”)

Who’s more likely to mess up hotel rooms? 63 said women, 53 said men. (“Men are more likely to mess up a house, so why should a hotel room be different?”)

My favorite comment of all came from a man who didn’t respond to any of the questions. “When you compare men and women,” he wrote, “it implies you are an expert on both, or think you are, which is a womanly thing to think.”