Tourists From Spacey Mountain

In his latest book, “More Mouse Tales,” David Koenig dispenses more wacky tales of Disneyland, including the Florida tourist who bought a Disneyland watch and whispered to the clerk:

“You know, these watches are going to be very valuable some day because California is going to fall off into the ocean next year.”

;: /;: /; / ;: /;*/;* /;* /;*/;* /-;* /*;* /*;* /. ..; . . ./;* / ;

/ ;*/; /

;

/;/ ;/ ;/ LOST IN FANTASYLAND: Some more memorable quotes from tourists at the Happiest Place on Earth:

* While searching for the It’s a Small World attraction: “Where can I find the Mad, Mad World of Children?”

* Also searching for It’s a Small World: “Excuse me, young man, can you tell me where the Valley of the Dolls is?”

* Disembarking at the Fantasyland Skyway: “Is this Fantasy Island?”

* “I’ve been to Fantasyland, Adventureland and Frontierland--where’s Disneyland?”

* “I see the Monorail goes back to the Disneyland Hotel. What about the submarine?”

* “Will the Toontown Trolley take me back to my car?”

* Boarding a Jungle Cruise ride: “Do you have any insecticide?”

*

AND, FINALLY: There was this exchange between a Disneyland visitor and a worker:

V: “Where’s the restroom?”

W: (trying to direct him to the nearest one) “Which way are you going?”

V: “Well, I’m gonna pee.”

*

PLAN AHEAD NEXT TIME! The mysterious Janet O. of Santa Monica noticed the case of a merchant who should have had more foresight in hiring a sign maker (see photo).

YOU THOUGHT BACKBITERS WERE A NUISANCE: One of the latest urban myths received by the San Fernando Folklore Society concerns the “venomous South American blush spider (arachnius gluteus), which lurks beneath toilet seats in public restrooms.” Among its alleged victims: a lawyer from Los Angeles who was supposedly bitten during a flight from New York. (Hey, that’s no reason to cheer.)

The Folklore Society, which exposes myths of this type, says there’s no such thing as “arachnius gluteus.” It added: “Although some spiders prefer, dark cool places and can sometimes be found under (mostly outdoor) toilet seats--as evidenced by Slim Newton’s 1972 song about the Australian redback spider, “The Redback on the Toilet Seat”--an airliner toilet would be quite an inhospitable abode for a spider due to the chemicals used in them.”

Reassuring to know, though I’m not sure I’ll be visiting Australia any time soon.

GUILT OVER THE PRICES? Manetta Walker of L.A. noticed an artworks sale with a conscience (see accompanying).

miscelLAny:

A sign on a phone pole in Highland Park says, “Lost chiwawa.” Well, it is doggone tough to spell.

*

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at 213-237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.