Perhaps Doo Duh Would Be Better

Among the works of art listed on the Sothebys.com Web site is a 1982 photograph of a “briefcase drill team” marching in the Doo Dah Parade. Price: $350 to $450.

Anyone who has the nerve to ask that much money for such a snapshot deserves to be crowned the next Doo Dah king or queen.

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WITH MY COMPLIMENTS . . . : In case you’re unaware of the ballet-like grace of briefcase drill teams, I’ve included a photo from the 1981 Doo Dah (see accompanying). Go ahead and clip it out. It’s free.

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Sheila Tomlin of Irvine came upon a flier for a fruit that must taste spicy considering the conditions under which it is grown (see accompanying).

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REVERSAL OF FORTUNE: The birthday card to Charles Hillinger from his daughter Tori was accompanied by five Lotto “Scratcher” tickets. He peeled away on one of the cards and was excited to find that he had won $10,000. He turned the card over and read that he could redeem the prize by “using the claim form supplied by the tooth fairy” and mail his ticket to “Santa Claus, P.O. Box 777, North Pole.”

“The ticket looked so real,” moaned Hillinger, an ex-Timesman who lives in Rancho Palos Verdes.

He added: “People born on April 1 go through this kind of agony every year.”

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SPEAKING OF APRIL FOOLS . . . : I mentioned the 1990 incident in which pranksters announced on realistic looking stationery that Bart Simpson was going to be the commencement speaker at Loyola Marymount.

So what do I receive in the mail today (April 3): a press release from Loyola titled, “ ‘The Fonz’ to Deliver Commencement Address (No Joke).”

Loyola spokesman Norm Schneider confirmed that Henry Winkler, the former star of TV’s “Happy Days,” will speak May 6. Winkler has a master’s degree from Yale, having stayed in school a bit longer than Arthur Fonzarelli.

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ORANGE COUNTY INSULT OF THE DAY: Noting the lack of rivalry between the Oakland A’s and the Anaheim Angels, the San Francisco Chronicle’s Glenn Dickey wrote that “the inbred animosity Bay Area residents have for Los Angeles” doesn’t pertain to the Angels because they “play in Anaheim, far removed from L.A., and from the rest of the world, for that matter.”

Orange County in its own world? Oh, come on.

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THEN AGAIN . . . : A colleague who flew into John Wayne Airport from San Francisco late Sunday night noticed that a 50ish male passenger had a one-woman welcoming committee in the deserted terminal.

She was decked out in a red miniskirt, a tight blouse, silk stockings and high heel spikes. And she was holding a sign that said, “Desperately Seeking Horny Dentist,” complete with an illustration of a little devil.

The arriving passenger, shocked but enthusiastic, gave her a big hug and a long kiss as other passengers hooted and clapped.

I don’t know about you, but tender airport reunion scenes always bring a tear to my eye.

miscelLAny:

Automotive garages aren’t famous for winning the confidence of customers. But Bob Fuhrer of West Hills found one shop that’s trying to gain their faith with an unprecedented number of warranties (see accompanying).