Promotion Wasn’t Thought Out Fully

Doug Stokes of Duarte received a Union 76 VIP Platinum Card, along with a note saying he was entitled to one “fill-up of quality Union 76 gasoline--any grade, any 76 service station, any time--up to a full $12 worth, absolutely FREE.”

A $12 fill-up?

“Of what?” asked Stokes, “A motorcycle?”

ROADSIDE FUND-RAISING WASN’T ENOUGH: Well, the Dodgers are starting their first homestand of 2000. I don’t know about you, but I’m optimistic (as I always am at the start of the season). I refuse to listen to those cynics who say it’s too bad that Rupert Murdoch outbid the other guy who wanted to buy the team from Peter O’Malley (see photo).

BUT PLEASE DON’T SHINE HEADLIGHTS IN THEIR EYES: Father Bob Barbato, the pastor of Old Mission Santa Ines in Solvang, sent along a photo of a revolutionary concept in carwashes. He snapped it in Running Springs, near Big Bear (see photo).

ON THE ROAD: In Seattle, where carwashes aren’t needed, but that’s another story, Kevin Britten of Ontario found one of the greatest battles of dueling signs that I’ve seen (see photo).

NIGHT OF HIGHS AND LOWS: City Talk, the newsletter of Paramount, swears it happened. A suspect, spotted in a stolen Nissan 300 ZX, was being chased by the cops when he crashed the car. He tried to carjack another vehicle but, after the suspect opened the door, the driver hit the gas and dragged him several yards before he fell, injured. In the hospital, a doctor, believing the suspect was on drugs, asked him, “What did you take tonight?” The suspect responded, “A 300 ZX.”

FURTHER PROOF OF THE POWER OF TV: San Diego Padre third baseman Phil Nevin, a former Cal State Fullerton star, chased a foul pop fly to the edge of the field, where a TV camera was stationed. Nevin bulled the camera aside as he vainly reached for the ball. Alas, the camera was on a swivel. It swung back and hit him on the side of the head, staggering him.

WHEN WASHINGTON, D.C., NOTICED L.A.: “The American President” documentary on public television this week mentioned that Rutherford B. Hayes was the first president to visit the Pacific Coast.

Sad to say the program gave no details on Hayes’ 1880 stay in the dusty little pueblo of Los Angeles. Then again it lasted only six hours. The L.A. City Council, having learned of his intentions, went all out, budgeting $25 for the ceremonies. One awkward moment in those conservative times came while Mayor James Toberman was showing Mrs. Hayes the sights. He inadvertently committed a no-no, ushering her into a men’s clothing store.

GOT CONTROVERSY? PETA, which has been campaigning against the milking of cows, has adopted the slogan, “Got Beer?” PETA declares that milk, unlike beer, can contain cholesterol, hormones and antibiotics. This campaign caught the attention of UC Irvine’s college newspaper, which published a headline that said:

“Keg Parties Reduce Health Problems?”

miscelLAny:

The “Security Activity Report” (crime blotter) of the Leisure World Golden Rain News of Seal Beach included this item:

“A resident’s niece reported that a neighbor accused the resident of giving bad cookies. Both threatened to call the police.”

Got milk?