1 New Life Near Anniversary of Preschool Deaths

It is a day seared into Sheryl Hawkinson’s memory. May 3. The day in 1999 a Cadillac sped through a chain-link fence at the Costa Mesa preschool she owns, killing two children and scarring dozens of lives.

Within days, she collapsed with a heart attack. For weeks, she was incapacitated by grief. And months later she was sued by parents who had at first stood by her.

Then she learned she was pregnant. The due date: May 3.

Rather than face the trauma of giving birth on Wednesday, the first anniversary of two deaths, Hawkinson and her husband asked her doctor to induce labor a week early.

“We wanted to respect the parents who lost their children on that date,” she said.

Hers is not the only life still reeling a year later from the effects of that day. Steven Allen Abrams is in jail on charges of murder as lawyers prepare to argue over his sanity. Parents struggle with conflicting feelings of loyalty to the school and anger over who’s to blame. Even neighbors of the school have been drawn into the bitter aftermath.

It happened on an otherwise ordinary Monday evening. The car, witnesses later recalled, passed the Southcoast Early Childhood Learning Center once before swerving in a U-turn and plunging into the yard where 30 children were playing. It bounced off a swing set and stopped against a pine tree. Besides the two children killed, four others and a teacher were hurt.

Police said Abrams, who remained at the wheel after the car stopped, told them he wanted to “execute” innocent children out of frustration with a failed relationship.

Prosecutors have charged Abrams with two counts of murder and seven counts of attempted murder, and are seeking the death penalty. The trial is scheduled to begin June 26.

Abrams’ attorney, Deputy Public Defender Leonard Gumlia, declined to comment on the specifics of the case, but he said his client’s history of mental illness is uncontested.

“There is a lot of evidence that Mr. Abrams is mentally ill,” Gumlia said Friday.

The prosecutor, Deputy Dist. Atty. Debbie Lloyd, also declined to comment specifically on the case.

The father of one fatal victim, 3-year-old Brandon Wiener, has unleashed his anger on the court system. On Friday, Aaron Wiener sat in a Santa Ana courtroom for hours waiting for a routine scheduling hearing for Abrams. It was eventually postponed, another delay in a legal system that he says ignores the plight of victims and their families.

“This whole case has proved what the criminal justice system is all about,” Wiener said. “Defendants have more rights than victims.”

Wiener also blasted the Orange County district attorney’s office. He said prosecutors have tried to grab headlines by promising to seek the death penalty in the case, despite their realization that Abrams’ history of mental illness will almost assuredly put that out of reach.

Lloyd said she sympathizes with the father.

“It’s not easy losing a son and being thrown into the judicial system. It’s a roller coaster, and I can understand that,” Lloyd said.

It’s not the only legal entanglement for the Wiener family resulting from the crash. Though supportive of Hawkinson for months after the crime, the family sued her in January, contending that the school failed to provide a safe environment for children and that Hawkinson knew it was unsafe. The Wieners also pulled their 2-year-old daughter from the preschool, where she had attended free of charge since the tragedy.

The Wieners say the lawsuit isn’t about money.

“No amount of money is going to bring back my son,” said the father. “It’s about making people aware [so] that schools and child-care places are safe and that the children are in a safe environment.”

A second lawsuit was filed in March by the parents of 4-year-old Sierra Soto, the second fatal victim. Parents of other children at the school, including some of those seriously injured, have retained attorneys.

A few of the neighbors who rallied in support of the preschool after the tragedy have also turned against Hawkinson. Many have signed petitions asking the city to review the school’s permits and complained that the school and adjacent church that owns the property have caused parking and traffic problems. City inspectors concluded that the school had no substantial violations, ending any threat to close it down.

Some neighbors want Hawkinson to dismantle a brick and iron wall built around the play area, a $50,000 security blanket that parents and community activists rallied to build. The wall encroaches four inches onto a public sidewalk and blocks the view of drivers on Santa Ana Avenue.

Hawkinson says she is tortured by these and other ripple effects of the tragedy. She says people who once expressed sympathy and love have now turned on her, and that’s mystifying.

“My heart will always be damaged,” she said.

Indeed, she is speaking literally as well. After her heart attack last year, Hawkinson’s doctors discovered a blood clot in the heart that required daily shots of a blood-thinning medication.

For months, doctors were advising Hawkinson to abort the child conceived three months after the crime. They worried that the combination of the blood clot and her frail heart could be dangerous in the case of a difficult delivery.

But the Hawkinsons refused to consider that option and the blood clot finally disappeared a few weeks ago.

The events of May 3 also changed the life of her newborn. With labor induced early, she gave birth Wednesday night at Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian in Newport Beach.

The baby, Joel Ridge Hawkinson, is a symbol to her of resilience and hope. She said his middle name came from her dreams, dreams in which her baby was on a ridge between the past and the future.

With Joel in her arms, Hawkinson is planning to be at the school Wednesday for a ceremony to mark the anniversary of the deaths--and the short lives--of Brandon and Sierra.

“The year anniversary is going to bring back a lot of memories,” said Carrie McCluskey, assistant director of the center. “It’s going to be pretty painful.”

The school plans to put up purple ribbons around the center’s new wall and release balloons into the sky at 5:15 p.m. to commemorate the lives of the victims. Two bouquets and handmade banners that the kids can decorate and sign will be hung on the wall in remembrance of the two children.

Still, balloons and ribbons can’t fix all the broken hearts.

“We have our ups and downs,” said Hawkinson from her hospital room. “We’re trying to get through this. It’s very bittersweet. We look at baby Joel’s face and start to cry remembering the crash. But God truly gave me a purpose to go on with Joel.”

The Wieners are struggling too.

The father doesn’t plan to attend the remembrance at the preschool on Wednesday.

Said Wiener: “I’ll be with Brandon at the cemetery.”