Only the Yankees Can Spend $1.4 Million and Say It’s ‘Nothing’

’ The story isn’t only that the Yankees goofed by putting in a waiver claim and getting stuck with Jose Canseco. Because we already knew that. Nor even is it all about George Steinbrenner’s absurd, weasely, press-release snipe at previously-above-the-fray manager Joe Torre for wondering aloud why Canseco is suddenly a Yankee. Because we already knew that Steinbrenner can be weasely. Steinbrenner tried his best to distract us Tuesday. But the story also is about the Yankees not minding one iota that something in excess of $1 million is being flushed into the East River. Nope, they couldn’t even muster one solitary tear over their lost cash. The good thing about picking up Canseco, Yankees GM Brian Cashman told us, is that it cost them “nothing.” Well, to the Yankees, $1.4 million--$900,000 for his 2000 salary, $500,000 to buy him out for 2001, and maybe a few hundred thou more for incentive bonuses--is nothing. And isn’t that a slap in the face to the Minnesota Twins of the world?

The reported pinstriped payroll is now officially off the charts, $112.6 million. They have become their own worst enemy, Bud Selig’s one shining example of what’s wrong with the game. In Selig’s unending argument to revamp the game, the Yankees are now Exhibits A, B and C. And how do the Yankees respond to the charge they are a gluttonous organization whose goal is to swallow up every respectable player, and some who only used to be respectable? With a shrug, perhaps?

The Yankees are playing well within the rules--and well within their means, as well. The idea of sharing their riches doesn’t seem quite right, doesn’t seem particularly American. Still, they are making an excellent case for it with their continuing excesses. They’ll pay $12 million to a pitcher who’s won one game. And they’ll pay $1.4 million to a man who’s greatest contribution may be to regale teammates with tales of starlet has-beens.

Canseco would have been fun in the big city, oh about a decade ago, when he possessed strong enough lumbar muscles to carry a team, and Madonna, too. Now he’s just an another aspiring portfolio manager who (no joke) touts Microsoft in this month’s Money magazine--Microsoft, like Canseco, a great idea in the ‘80s.

Canseco would have been a blast in his past. But the road to this postseason continues to be a mostly joyless exercise, for the Yankees as well as the teams looking up at them trying to scratch together their nickels.

“It’s a problem that’s existed for a while. It’s maybe more pronounced now, so people are paying more attention to it,” said Marlins GM Dave Dombrowski, whose decent team has a $20-million payroll, or as he put it, “close to $100 million” less than the Yankees. “The money’s become more. The disparity’s become more. It’s caught people’s attention. . . . Hopefully, the people involved can address the problem and come up with a solution.”

Meanwhile, Torre, who should be entitled to his opinion (an opinion shared by almost everybody in the free world), has some work to do in his effort to make Canseco look like something other than a $1.4-million doorstop. The Yankees have no great hope for Canseco, who is only here because they feared that the Oakland Athletics or some facsimile would be dumb enough to spend $1.4 million on a player with nine home runs and that many breaking body parts.

Torre wasn’t immediately certain how he would use a player he never asked for--a fact that for some reason irked Steinbrenner. A point could be made that Darryl Strawberry didn’t fit in 1996, either, and that worked magically well. But this year’s version isn’t made of magic. Only moola.

This isn’t close to the fun bunch that used its heart and smarts to pull off the first pinstriped World Series title in 18 years. That team was a joy. That team’s picture was Torre crying in the dugout in Baltimore, reaching for old friends to share his joy after finally reaching the World Series. This year’s seminal moment was committing at least $1.4 million to a player they don’t want, and saying that it didn’t cost them a thing.

That 1996 team overachieved. This one has overspent.

The Yankees are taking the joy out of the pennant race with their frenetic maneuverings. The roster has almost as many stopover mercenaries as true Yankees. If they do win everything again, I’d like to see one of them clear the champagne out of his eyes long enough to tell us that the key to the team was its wonderful chemistry. Because you know that will happen. And we will all nod and pretend that it’s so when it quite obviously is not.