Welcome to L.A., and Have a Shun Fat Day

Dear Convention Visitors:

Life isn’t always what it seems in Southern California, as the accompanying photos will attest. Here are some things NOT to look for:

* Dieters’ specials at the Shun Fat Supermarket in San Gabriel. The phrase means “fortunate” in Chinese.

* Moose accessories in Pasadena. The sign was put up as a joke several years ago by a businessman, who did in fact own a large collection of moose antlers. He also posted a sign paying tribute to Chester A. Riley of TV’s “Life of Riley,” who was constantly complaining, “What a revoltin’ development this is. . . .”

* Old antiques. Everything is young in Southern California.

* Cruise ships on Interstate 5 near San Diego. The freeway is just too congested for that purpose. Most cruise ships opt for surface streets.

L.A. AND THE WHITE HOUSE: Some local trivia about presidential politics:

* First president to visit L.A.: Rutherford B. Hayes (1880). The City Council went all-out, appropriating $25 for a banquet.

* Only Huntington Park resident to occupy the White House: George Bush, who lived here briefly in the 1940s while working as a drill-bit salesman. He also lived in Compton and Whittier.

* Presidential place names that were impeached: West L.A.’s Harding High (renamed University High), Coolidge High (became Verdugo Hills High) and the Nixon Freeway (became the Marina Freeway).

* Worst attempt at pronouncing L.A.: Theodore Roosevelt called it loss an-gee-LEES.

* Biggest seat of honor: A giant chair was built for the 1909 visit of 350-plus-pound William Howard Taft. It now sits at Occidental College.

* Most bizarre fashion no-no: Reporters covering Democratic candidate Michael Dukakis in 1988 were given red and blue bandannas in Texas. But they were asked by the Secret Service to take them off at the next stop, L.A., because the colors were the same as those worn by rival street gangs.

* Worst civic insult: During a speech at Chaminade High School in West Hills, 1996 Republican candidate Bob Dole referred to L.A.’s baseball team as “the Brooklyn Dodgers.”

BACK IN THE REAL WORLD (SORT OF): The Seal Beach Sun reported that “a resident came out of her bathroom to find a woman standing in her living room. The woman thought she was at a real estate open house. Police confirmed with the Realtor that the female had mistaken the address.”

OK, but did the owner sell her house anyway? In this market, it would be tempting.

miscelLAny:

I’m appealing to readers to solve the problem of what to call the two feuding halves of the Reform Party.

I’ve kicked around a few pairs: the Reform and Free Form, the Reform and De-Form, the Reform and Styroform.

Surely you can do better.

I’m still hoping that in the spirit of Jesse Ventura, the two halves will come together to form the Tag-Team Party.