Penn State’s Paterno Chasing That Pot of Gold but Don’t Look for Any Rainbows

Off-seasons are never easy things and often spell nothing but trouble.

Hawaii, stricken by an acute case of island fever, decided to drop “Rainbow” from its nickname Rainbow Warriors because of the word’s association with gay pride.

Dumb, dumb, dumb.

We can’t wait for the Hawaii marching band’s halftime rendition of Judy Garland’s “Somewhere over the arc that exhibits, in concentric bands, the colors of the spectrum.”

Penn State quarterback Rashard Casey was set to lead Coach Joe Paterno past Bear Bryant on the major college victories list until he stopped last May at a Hoboken, N.J., bar, at which Casey and a cohort allegedly kicked an off-duty cop unconscious.

Seven victories short of eclipsing Bear Bryant’s record of 323 wins, Paterno is standing by Casey while the rest of us wonder whether Paterno needs another upgrade on those prescription lenses.

Arizona State lost starting quarterback Ryan Kealy to a DUI, which means Coach Bruce Snyder can put out an S.O.S. on his future.

And did you hear about the fight that broke out at the OK Corvallis corral, leading to the suspension of four Oregon State players on the heels of the school’s first winning season in 30 years?

The news wasn’t all Miranda related.

Chris Weinke decided to return for one more year as did the Pacific 10 Conference, Weinke after leading Florida State to a national title at age 27 and the Pac-10 after completing a 12-step program at Football Anonymous.

Weinke, the Seminoles’ senior (citizen) quarterback, is older than 15 NFL quarterbacks but still much younger than his coach, Bobby Bowden.

This is also the year to take one last look at Brigham Young’s legendary coach, LaVell Edwards, who announced he will retire at season’s end. To honor Edwards, former Cougar quarterback Jim McMahon will reportedly return to Provo and break curfew one last time.

We can also report that, since Florida State beat Virginia Tech to win the national title in the Sugar Bowl, Florida Coach Steve Spurrier underwent successful back surgery, during which doctors also repaired some intestinal fortitude; Notre Dame did not lose a single game and ousted Louisiana State coach Gerry DiNardo elected not to seek a U.S. House seat from Baton Rouge.

Good thing, because DiNardo would have had to run on his record, 4-7 and 3-8 the last two years.

Wisely, DiNardo became coach of the XFL’s new Birmingham franchise.

The upcoming season, as always, promises to be, well, played.

A few streaks to note:

South Carolina enters the year having lost 21 consecutive games, the last 11 under Coach Lou Holtz.

If the Game(y)cocks don’t end the skein at home Sept. 2 against New Mexico State, or Sept. 16 at home vs. Eastern Michigan, Notre Dame might win another game before Holtz does.

Notre Dame and Florida enter the year with a combined seven-game losing streak.

The Irish lost their last four games in 1999; the Gators dropped their last three. This prompted Spurrier to convene what is known in the South as a “Come to Jesus” meeting in which the Florida coach put his coaching staff on red Swamp alert.

Which team is going to win it all at the Orange Bowl?

The most talented squads are Nebraska and Florida State.

The department of Mindless Facts and Figures loves to note the Cornhuskers won both their 1990s national titles in the Orange Bowl.

We love to note that some people thought Notre Dame was going to win the 1999 national title because the Irish won in 1966, 1977 and 1988.

We’ve settled somewhat comfortably on a Texas-Florida State title game, believing the Longhorns will steal the national-title slot from Nebraska in the Big 12 title game.

Reason?

Texas does not face Kansas State or Nebraska in the regular season and has knocked off Nebraska three times since 1996.

The Heisman Trophy contenders are, in order of personal preference and coolest-looking uniforms: quarterbacks Michael Vick (Virginia Tech), Chris Weinke, Drew Brees (Purdue), tailbacks LaDainian Tomlinson (Texas Christian) and Deuce McAllister (Mississippi) and quarterback Quincy Carter (Georgia).

Breakdown:

The quick on Vick: He’s only a sophomore but is already a transcendent talent with Jordanesque upside.

Weinke: It’s a joke he doesn’t get more Heisman consideration.

Brees: A splendid talent, but Brees’ campaign may grind to a halt during a brutal six-week stretch in which Purdue faces Penn State, Michigan, Wisconsin, Ohio State and Michigan State.

Tomlinson: He led the nation in rushing last year and could make some real Heisman noise if TCU rides a fluffy-soft schedule to an 11-0 mark.

McAllister: He’s head and shoulders better than Deuce Bigalow.

Carter: Seems to have everything it takes except enough big plays versus Florida and Tennessee.

Playoff?

Mark this down. There will be a playoff in college football beginning with the 2006 season.

Logic: The Rose Bowl’s recent awarding of the 2006 national title game completes the BCS cycle in which the four major bowls--Rose, Orange, Sugar and Fiesta--will have each hosted two national title games.

College presidents will come around on the playoff issue when a credible network steps forward and offers a deal starting in the billions.

Until there is a postseason tournament, you can argue college football’s regular season is the most relevant in team sports.

Every week will have national implications.

Here is this season’s primer:

THE GAMES

* Sunday: USC vs. Penn State in the Kickoff Classic.

USC carries the burden of Pac-10 pride into a national television showdown against Joe Paterno, whose handling of quarterback Rashard Casey will be intensely watched.

* Sept. 2: Alabama at UCLA. The Crimson Tide returns to Pasadena for the first time since Jan. 1, 1946, when Alabama beat USC, 34-14, in the Rose Bowl. A road win over UCLA at the Rose Bowl firmly establishes the Crimson Tide as legitimate national title contenders.

* Sept. 9: Nebraska at Notre Dame. An ugly home loss could mark the beginning of the end for Irish Coach Bob Davie, coming off a 5-7 season. He’s on even shakier footing now that Athletic Director Mike Wadsworth and Vice President Rev. E. William Beauchamp, two Davie allies, are no longer in power.

* Sept. 16: Washington at Colorado marks Coach Rick Neuheisel’s return to Boulder; Florida at Tennessee isn’t a top-five showdown this year but always impacts the Southeastern Conference race; Stanford hosts Texas with a chance to avenge last year’s 69-17 wipeout in Austin; Michigan at UCLA marks another put-up or shut-up Pac 10 moment.

* Sept. 23: Notre Dame at Michigan State. If the Irish are 0-3 after losses to Texas A&M;, Nebraska and Purdue, Davie could face the lance in East Lansing; UCLA at Oregon sets the Pac-10 stage.

* Sept. 30: Wisconsin at Michigan. The Big Ten title and possibly the national title could be won or lost in this battle of behemoths.

Also: Kansas State at Colorado. Thanks a lot for the schedule, Neuheisel. Colorado’s first six games are against Colorado State, USC, Washington, Kansas State, Texas A&M; and Texas.

* Oct. 7: Tennessee at Georgia. Folks are calling this the biggest game in decades for Georgia, which is loaded with talent but 1-7 versus Florida and Tennessee in the Jim Donnan era.

Also: Florida State at Miami. Miami can’t fancy itself a title contender until Butch Davis beats Bobby Bowden.

* Oct. 14: Texas at Colorado. How can the Longhorns contend for a national title if they can’t get over this hump? Colorado is 6-0 against Texas dating to 1989.

Also: Oregon at USC. Redemption? Let’s see, the Trojans were 2-0 last year until the sky fell in Eugene. How could Carson Palmer forget?

* Oct. 21: Alabama at Tennessee: This is the game Tennessee curses Chris Simms for reneging on his commitment and bolting to Texas.

Also: Oregon State at UCLA. Since when does UCLA play patsy for Oregon State on a bowl drive? Well, since last year’s 55-7 loss to the Beavers in Corvallis.

* Oct. 28: Penn State at Indiana. Say what? OK, this is a hunch. We’re guessing Penn State will be 6-2 headed to Bloomington with Paterno needing this win to notch career win 324 and surpass Bear Bryant as the major college leader in victories. Hey, is that Bob Knight sitting in the Zero Tolerance section?

* Nov. 4: Clemson at Florida State. Pop vs. Son II. Last year, Tommy Bowden scared the diamond studs off his daddy’s national title ring before losing, 17-14. Bobby went on to win the national title and record his first perfect season. We don’t expect the rematch in Tallahassee to be as close.

Also: Nebraska at Oklahoma. After a sacrilegious break in the rivalry, these old plain staters get to tear at each other again. Oklahoma may finally be up to the challenge.

* Nov. 11: Nebraska at Kansas State. Two years ago, Kansas State ended a 30-year hex with a win over Nebraska in Manhattan, only to later blow a national title shot with a stunning loss to Texas A&M; in the Big 12 title game.

Also: UCLA at Washington. Because Washington and USC don’t play, Bruins may decide the Pac-10 race with games against the conference favorites on consecutive weekends.

* Nov. 18: Pick your favorite rivalry: USC at UCLA, Stanford at Cal, Florida at Florida State, Michigan at Ohio State. For historical purposes, we’ll take Auburn traveling to Tuscaloosa for the first time since Nov. 15, 1901.

* Nov. 25: Notre Dame at USC. How will coaches Bob Davie and Paul Hackett be sleeping? If the Irish and Trojans are hovering at .500, this could be “Bring Your Suitcase” night for coaches at the Coliseum.

* Dec. 2: Texas vs. Nebraska in Big 12 title game. Whose big idea was it to stage this in Kansas City, Mo., at open-air Arrowhead Stadium? We’d hate to see frostbite play a role in a matchup that could send the winner to the national title game in the Orange Bowl.

In fairness, there are also a few must-miss games:

* Sept. 2: Connecticut at Eastern Michigan. UConn makes the quantum leap up to Division 1-A and kicks off the era with this “Battle at Ypsilanti.” Also: Akron at Virginia Tech, Buffalo at Syracuse.

* Sept. 9: Buffalo at Rutgers. Terry Shea has won eight games in four years at Rutgers’ helm; that’s eight more than Buffalo won last year in inaugural 0-11 campaign.

* Sept. 16: Ball State at Kansas State. One of those early-bird specials K-State likes to dig into before conference play.

* Sept. 23: South Florida at Baylor. Known in these two proud football states as the Leftovers Bowl.

* Sept. 30: Richmond at Arkansas State. Play-in winner gets the 64th and final berth in next year’s NCAA tournament. Oh, wait, that’s college basketball.

* Oct. 7: Vanderbilt at Wake Forest. Fan that stays awake for four quarters wins Demon Deacon key chain.

* Oct. 14: Temple at Rutgers. During scoreboard quiz, fans will be asked to guess the paid attendance: The choices will be 102, 36, and 201.

* Oct. 21: Ball State at Buffalo. Odds man Danny Sheridan notes Ball State has never played well at Buffalo.

* Oct. 28: North Texas at Louisiana Lafayette. Game footage will be used for scenes in “The Replacements II.”

* Nov. 4: Central Michigan at Eastern Michigan. Winner takes on Western Michigan, loser gets Northern Michigan, winner plays Southern Michigan; winner gets a compass.

* Nov. 11: Rhode Island at UConn. All the pomp you’d expect at a big-time Division I-A game.

* Nov. 18: Wofford at Louisiana Monroe. Only the slightest chance ESPN’s “GameDay” will set up here for “Rivalry Weekend.”

* Nov. 25: Nevada at Tulsa: Halftime contests will include “panning for gold” contest and “drilling for your own gusher.”

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RETURNING NATIONAL LEADERS

RUSHING

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TCB NYG Avg TD LaDainian Tomlinson, TCU 304 1,974 6.5 20 Lamont Jordan, Maryland 266 1,632 6.1 16 Ken Simonton, Oregon State 294 1,486 5.1 18 Hodges Mitchell, Texas 255 1,346 5.3 9 Anthony Thomas, Michigan 283 1,257 4.4 16

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PASSING

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Att Comp Yds Int TD Dusty Bonner, Kentucky 508 333 3,572 14 26 Drew Brees, Purdue 494 301 3,531 11 21 Josh Heupel, Oklahoma 499 309 3,448 15 30 Patrick Ramsey, Tulane 513 310 3,410 24 25 David Neill, Nevada 420 244 3,373 7 20

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RECEIVING

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Rec Yds TD Arnold Jackson, Louisville 110 1,318 10 Margin Hooks, BYU 64 1,176 7 Nate Poole, Marshall 73 1,135 9 Steve Neal, Western Michigan 74 1,113 11 Latef Grim, Pittsburgh 75 1,106 4

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