LAUGH LINES

Stamp of Approval: “President Clinton’s job approval went up after his speech [at the Democratic National Convention]. It’s hard to argue with the record. When the only person out of work in America is Kathie Lee Gifford, you have to call the administration a success.” (Argus Hamilton)

Medical Rounds: “Pharmacists in Mexico are making a fortune on Viagra. Men go down there to buy it because it’s 80% cheaper in Mexico. Still, is that a good idea? Taking Viagra with Mexican water? Think about that: You’ve got half of your body pulling you toward the bedroom, the other half pulling you toward the bathroom.” (Jay Leno)

Turn It Down: “Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford celebrated . . . their birthdays . . . on a luxury liner owned by Carnival. . . . Kathie Lee played her new CD everywhere on board. She also gave out copies to all the other guests on the ship. Well, people do need coasters for their drinks.” (Mark Wheeler)

Extra Credit: “In Maryland . . . a schoolteacher was arrested for having sex with a 12-year-old boy. Have you heard of this? . . . That in order to become the teacher’s pet, you have to pet the teacher.” (Andrew Wisot)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.