It’s Easy to Tell Them Apart

Mirror images, these two, except Tennessee comes equipped with yardage-gaining running backs and pass-catching wideouts, unlike Philadelphia, and the Eagles have a kicker who doesn’t lose games by missing field goals, unlike the Titans.

Last week, Eagle quarterback Donovan McNabb completed passes to 10 different receivers and, afterward, had these uplifting words for missing-in-action wide receivers Charles Johnson, Torrance Small and Todd Pinkston: “Just because we may not involve them in the offense . . . doesn’t mean we’re just trying to get it to the backs or tight ends. [Defenses] are doing a good job in coverage. The best thing you can do in those situations is get what you can get and go on to the next down.”

Fourth down has been the trouble in Tennessee, where Al Del Greco has been more Titanic than Old Faithful.

Coach Jeff Fisher has pledged allegiance to Del Greco, although he is toying with the idea of “working out” a couple of kickers. “Quite honestly,” Del Greco says, “I would expect them to probably look at somebody in case, God forbid, it does keep happening.”

This one to be decided by a field goal. The line: Tennessee by 3.

THEY DON’T NEED AN ORDER TO GAG

New York Giants (8-4) at Washington (7-5), 10 a.m.: Embarking on a very serious playoff run, or a death spiral, Giant Coach Jim Fassel has issued a team-wide gag order for the remainder of the season, forbidding players to discuss the Giants or a Giant opponent with the media. “I’m not interested in anybody’s opinion around here,” Fassel said. “Nobody’s. Zero.” Lighten up, coach. We’ve seen your team play and examined the potential talking points. Tiki Barber or the weather? Me, I’ll take the weather. The line: Washington by 6.

WHERE HAVE YOU GONE, STEVE TASKER?

Miami (9-3) at Buffalo (7-5), 10 a.m.: As if they needed subliminal reinforcement, Buffalo special teams players glanced up at the Raymond James Stadium scoreboard in the third quarter last Sunday and saw a replay of Scott Norwood in Super Bowl XXV, kicking wide right. Sufficiently spooked, Bill kicker Steve Christie missed a 32-yard field goal attempt, Buffalo surrendered a 73-yard punt return for a touchdown and the Bills lost to the Buccaneers, 31-17. The line: Buffalo by 3 1/2.

LET’S SEE HIM DO IT IN THE PLAYOFFS

Denver (8-4) at New Orleans (8-4), 10 a.m.: You win one game on the road and suddenly the world wants to interview you and your rookie trading card rockets from $4.99 to $76.99 on EBay. OK, so the game was in St. Louis, against the Super Bowl champion Rams. And, all right, it was Aaron Brooks’ first NFL start. And, sure, Brooks is the first quarterback in NFL history to beat a reigning league champion on the road in his first start. One humble request: Can the Saints refrain from hanging the kid’s jersey from the Superdome rafters this Sunday? At least until halftime? The line: New Orleans by 1.

YOU HAVE KORDELL STEWART TO THANK FOR THAT

Oakland (10-2) at Pittsburgh (6-6), 10 a.m., Channel 2: The Immaculate Reception. Lynn Swann’s concussion, followed by Chuck Noll denouncing Raider hit-man George Atkinson as part of the NFL’s “criminal element,” followed by Atkinson suing Noll for slander, followed by Noll being acquitted. The Raiders attaining “pay-back” with a 24-7 triumph in the 1976 AFC championship game. There are numerous unforgettable chapters in this fabled Silver-Vs.-Black rivalry. Sunday will not be one of them. The line: Oakland by 3.

DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM

Dallas (4-8) at Tampa Bay (7-5), 10 a.m.: Warren Sapp was mighty pleased with his inspirational our-offense-is-simpler-than-a-high-school’s pep talk after the Buccaneers, insulted and inspired, went out and thumped Buffalo, 31-17. Sapp: “I think I should have done it a long time ago--31 points. Even Ray Charles can see we’re improved.” On a roll, Sapp added, “Once this team gets in the playoffs, I’ll take my chances on 60 minutes or go home. Is Minnesota the bad-ass in the NFC? C’mon . . . Then Detroit? Washington? No. I like our chances.” Fortunately for Sapp, Long Beach Poly does not play in the NFC. The line: Tampa Bay by 10.

BUT HE WASN’T TALKING ABOUT KICKERS, HE’LL HAVE YOU KNOW

St. Louis (8-4) at Carolina (5-7), 10 a.m., Channel 11: Panther Coach George Seifert is a changed man, he swears, after getting upbraided by his wife for a profanity-laced tirade caught by ABC’s sideline camera Monday night against Green Bay. “A case of a 60-year-old man acting like an idiot,” Seifert apologetically called it. “Yeah, that wasn’t very gentlemanly, I guess. I started speaking in a foreign language.” With Kurt Warner returning to the Rams’ lineup in Carolina, Seifert’s rehab program is down to two desperate options: handkerchief across the eyes or across the mouth. The line: St. Louis by 7 1/2.

FOR MORE INFO, LOG ONTO www.no-d.com

Indianapolis (7-5) at New York Jets (8-4), 1:15 p.m., Channel 2: The Colts lost at home at the RCA Dome last week and, after countless hours reviewing game film, have decided it’s the RCA Dome’s fault. Owner Jim Irsay is stumping for a new stadium, which is why the Colts co-sponsored a “Touchdowns and Technology” luncheon this week, so Irsay could press the flesh and recruit tech-industry investors. Already, the Colts have lined up deals with such local technology companies as EDS and IQuest. No commitments yet, however, from OLB, CB, SS or DE/DT. The line: N.Y. Jets by 2.

FALCON FAME FLEETING

Seattle (4-8) at Atlanta (3-10), 10 a.m.: Twenty-two months after he started for the Falcons in Super Bowl XXXIII, quarterback Chris Chandler has been demoted to third string behind rookie Doug Johnson, who will start against Seattle, and journeyman Danny Kanell. Coach Dan Reeves insists he is doing this only for Chandler’s personal safety and that it has nothing to do with Chandler’s recent observation that “maybe we can do better as a coaching staff also. It goes from top to bottom.” Absolutely, positively nothing at all. The line: Pick

HOW ABOUT STRAIGHT UP FOR RYAN LEAF?

Green Bay (5-7) at Chicago (3-9), 5:15 p.m., ESPN: Fearing that Cade McNown’s return from injury is imminent, proactive Bear fans have constructed a “Trade Cade” Web site, where like-minded Bear sufferers can sign a petition that asks the club to “end your CadeXperiment and trade him to the highest bidder in exchange for a few clean jockstraps, a Gatorade cooler, a new suit for Mike McCaskey and/or anything you can get for him.” So far, the site has received more than 4,500 signatures--among them “Papa Bear Halas” and “Hugh Hefner” and this from “Al Gore: I believe the true intent of the Bears was to draft Culpepper.” The line: Green Bay by 2.

NEWS FLASH: TURKEY TAKES OUT TURKEY

Arizona (3-9) at Cincinnati (2-10), 10 a.m.: Welcome to the Poulan Weed-Eater Bottom Feeder Bowl, which proudly pits the NFC’s losingest team since 1990 (Arizona, 61-111) against the AFC’s worst team since 1990 (Cincinnati, 54-118). The Cardinals suffered a key setback in their game preparation when defensive tackle Mao Tosi was injured while eating Thanksgiving dinner, costing Tosi a day of practice while he saw a dentist to repair an exposed tooth nerve. “Don’t ever say you’ve see it all,” said Cardinal Coach Dave McGinnis, doing his best to grin and bear it. “Because something always happens to prove you wrong.” The line: Cincinnati by 4.

HE CAN SEE FOR MILES AND MILES OF SPERGON WYNN INCOMPLETIONS

Cleveland (3-10) at Jacksonville (5-7), 1:15 p.m.: Last year, when the Browns were young and Corey Fuller’s eyes wide and bright, the Cleveland cornerback went on Jim Rome’s radio show and predicted the expansion Browns would reach the playoffs in their second season. Today, that second season is 13 games old, the Browns are 3-10 and Fuller is pleading revisionism. “I’m not a prophet,” he said after Cleveland rallied from a 7-0 lead to lose, 44-7, against Baltimore last Sunday. “I don’t know how long it will take.” The line: Jacksonville by 14 1/2.

YEAH, TELL MAO TOSI ABOUT IT

San Francisco (4-8) at San Diego (1-11), 1 p.m.: “This gets us out of the history books,” Charger Coach Mike Riley announced after his team’s quest for a 0-16 season hit a speed bump called the Kansas City Chiefs. Sad but true: The Chargers can still finish 1-15, but five other teams have already done that, most recently the ’96 Jets. Niner Coach Steve Mariucci has felt Riley’s pain. “It’s like knowing you have to go to the dentist and getting a couple of crowns put in,” he said of losing. “It’s painful, like getting drilled without much Novocain.” The line: San Francisco by 2 1/2.

SOMEWHERE, ELMO WRIGHT IS HIDING HIS HEAD

Kansas City (5-7) at New England (3-9), Monday, 6 p.m., Channel 7: They always remember the streak-breakers--the Milwaukee Bucks finally stopping the Lakers at 33 wins in a row, Ken Keltner robbing Joe DiMaggio twice with a 56-game hitting streak on the line, Tony Richardson spiking the ball on the Charger one-yard line to draw a 15-yard unsportsmanlike penalty and force the Chiefs to settle for a field goal in an eventual 17-16 loss to San Diego. By that much, the Chargers were thwarted on their run to 0-16. Absolutely no truth to the report that when Canton came calling for his IQ exam, Richardson shipped off his No. 49 jersey. The line: Pick.