A Side Show Starring Mummy Dearest

At the beginning of the second hour of “Unwrapped: The Mysterious World of Mummies,” Egyptologist and host Bob Brier cautions the viewer: “Don’t be afraid.”

One can almost feel the smirk on Brier’s face, because the obvious purpose of this ghoulish, three-hour foray into the world of the shellacked dead Sunday night on TLC is to scare, shock and otherwise gross us out. And it succeeds reasonably well, though there is something benign and even calming about many of the mummies.

Beneath the three-hour miniseries’ haute-scientific veneer is a side show as raunchy as any found amid the sawdust of a traveling circus. We are treated to two-headed bodies, fetuses and heads (even half heads) preserved in jars of brandy; there are also mummies without skin.

Brier takes the viewer on a worldwide tour of mummies, interspersed with hands-on lessons in modern-day mummifying techniques. (Basically the process involves draining the body of water and injecting liquid plastic.)

Ultimately, style and substance reach a happy balance in “Mummies.” But since style is so much more fun on TV, here are some of the highlights of this macabre pilgrimage:

* In the 19th century, some people in Italy were unintentionally buried alive because their loved ones (and apparently even doctors) couldn’t distinguish very well between a coma and death. After a few “mistakes” were discovered, coffins were designed with small bells--above the grave--that had strings attached to the (hopefully) deceased’s finger. So, should some unfortunate coffin dweller wake up, he or she could ring the bell while calmly awaiting rescue. Can anyone say malpractice?

* The frozen bodies of crewmen from the 1845 Franklin Expedition to the Arctic are perfectly preserved monuments to the well-equipped but poorly planned mission that got stuck in the ice floes.

* Atop the gorgeous, 22,000-foot Andean Mountains near Machu Picchu are the chilling mummies of three children, who were among hundreds led to their sacrificial deaths 500 years ago by their own parents. Preserved in the cold, dry air, one of the mummies, a girl with the blood still frozen in her veins, is bundled in colorful textiles and accompanied by figurines for her “journey to the gods.”

* At the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia, we are treated to the huge preserved colon of a man who had a record case of constipation; and the “soap lady,” whose body was preserved by the layer of soap that formed from her own body fat after burial.

* In China, there’s the 2,000-year-old mummy with flexible limbs and a 500-year-old companion with his brain and all organs intact.

Throw in the mummified body of Eva Peron and the terrified, skinless body of a man from the French Revolution era and you’ve got yourself three hours guaranteed to keep you away from the kitchen snack cupboard.

The Vatican might consider editing Pope John Paul II’s copy of the show. The ending describes plans for his mummification and reveals that his intestine that was damaged in a 1981 shooting is already embalmed. I don’t know about the pontiff, but that might be just a little too much information for my taste.

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* “Unwrapped: The Mysterious World of Mummies” premieres at 8 p.m. Sunday on TLC.