The Slam Dunk: It’s Anything but Fantastic

Nick Canepa of the San Diego Union-Tribune writes that the dunk has ruined basketball--at least for him.

“Because I can’t see what great skill it takes for a large athletic person to stand under a basket, leap and slam the ball through the rim. It drives me nuts when people applaud dunks. They are not worthy of a golf clap.

“Are you thrilled when Tiger [Woods] makes a two-inch putt? Nothing pleases me more when some big lummox misses a dunk and the ball caroms off to half-court. Now that’s entertainment.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for most consecutive completed passes?

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Shut up Mike: New York Giant Coach Jim Fassel was told that Mike Ditka called the Giants “soft,” so Fassel needled Ditka:

” . . . Mike brought his team here twice [as Saint coach], and twice they went home losing. OK? Now he’s in the booth, OK? He probably prefers to be on the sideline.

“I don’t think he needs to call my team soft, OK? Otherwise he’d probably still be on the sideline. Tell him to get another tee time.”

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Who cares? Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura told high school students in Owatonna, Minn. that he was hired as an XFL analyst because of his wrestling and acting persona, and that it won’t affect his ability to govern Minnesota.

“I wasn’t hired because I was the governor,” he told the students. “I was hired because I’m ‘Jesse the Body.’ ”

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Nowhere to MVP: Give 49er Coach Steve Mariucci credit for honesty. “I was in Green Bay when we had Kurt Warner,” he said.

A reporter asked: “Did you have any idea about Warner’s talent?”

Replied Mariucci: “None. He was just a camp guy.”

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Should have done it: Mark Kriedler of ESPN.com on “nice guy” Paul Westphal, the recently fired coach of the Seattle SuperSonics:

” . . . He never threatened to punch Gary Payton in the face, which unquestionably is the only way to prevent Payton from completely disintegrating any coach’s authority.”

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Reluctant celebrity: Mariusz Czerkawski of the New York Islanders is getting tired of being robbed by opposing goaltenders. “I’m in the highlight films every night,” he said, “but not as the winner.”

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Tip money: From comedy writer Earl Hochman: “Although they’ll spend most of it, projections for 2001-2004 have the U.S. Olympic committee taking in $495 million . . . almost as much as Alex Rodriguez is demanding for fringe benefits this year.”

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Trivia answer: Joe Montana of the San Francisco 49ers, 22--five against Cleveland on Nov. 29, 1987, and 17 against Green Bay on Dec. 6, 1987.

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And finally: Gary Shelton in the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times: “Two questions about the bowl championship series. Does it really take eight computers to work? And why in the world can’t the NCAA simply buy its own?”