LAUGH LINES
Miracles in the Making: It was recently “actress Patty Duke’s 54th birthday. She won an Oscar for her role in ‘The Miracle Worker.’. . . A new version of ‘The Miracle Worker’ is in the works. It’s the story of [the people] who got George W. Bush elected.” (Jerry Perisho)
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The Essential David Letterman
Top 10 Headlines We’re Likely
to See in the Next Four Years
10. “49 States Vote Florida Out of Union”
9. “Supreme Court Justices Given Ferraris by Anonymous Texas Governor”
8. “W. Asked to Veto Bill. . . . Bush Hires Guy Named ‘Vito’ to Beat Up Clinton”
7. “Cowboy Hat and Tennis Racket Stocks Soar”
6. “President Comes Away Empty-Handed From Celebrity ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’ ”
5. “In Shortest State of the Union Address Ever, President Declares, ‘We Rock!’ ”
4. “Warren Christopher Turns 187”
3. “Dave and Oprah Letterman Honeymoon in Bahamas”
2. “Katherine Harris Returns to Job as Ramada Inn Cocktail Waitress”
1. “CNN, MSNBC, CNBC All Go Out of Business, Admitting ‘We Got Nothin’ ”
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