LAUGH LINES

Love in Bloom: “I read in the paper today they’re predicting 9 million men will send roses this Valentine’s Day. You know what that means? That means that 121 million men are in big, big trouble.” (Jay Leno)

Cover-Up: “Steve Forbes has officially dropped out of the presidential race. . . . I guess he realized things weren’t going well when he was at the magazine stand and noticed that John McCain was on the cover of Forbes.” (Leno)

Leftovers: “McCain thinks he can pick up the Forbes voters because of his conservative stands on abortion and taxes, and George W. Bush thinks he can get the Forbes voters who still want a useless idiot son of a famous guy.” (Bill Maher)

Tips From a Master: “According to recent polls, Hillary Clinton has not been connecting with female voters. . . . And after hearing this, President Clinton said, ‘You know, I keep telling her: Establish eye contact and then start gently caressing.’ ” (Conan O’Brien)

Half-Mast: “AmericaOne was defeated off New Zealand in the America’s Cup. For the first time in the cup’s 149-year history, there will be no U.S. boat sailing for yachting’s top prize. Republicans are starting to admit that America has a race problem.” (Argus Hamilton)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.