Party to Trump: Don’t Be Cruel

Gazillionaire Donald Trump, as you’ve no doubt heard, has dropped out of the presidential race. And not “to spend more time with his hair,” as comic Jay Leno declared.

Nope, in an op-ed piece in the New York Times, Trump cited several other reasons, including the “fringe element” of the Reform Party.

Trump complained that when he held a reception for that party’s leaders in Southern California, “the room was crowded with Elvis look-alikes.”

Alas, Trump has again betrayed his political ignorance.

Elvis look-alikes are so numerous they constitute a powerful, if untapped, interest group. With their support, Trump would have been a formidable candidate. They would have asked only that Trump become the first presidential contender to take a stand on whether Elvis is dead or working as George W. Bush’s campaign manager.

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CRUISE LINES: I thought the city of Long Beach was being tough on motorists in one upscale neighborhood when it forbade cruising, which was defined as driving past the same point three times “within four hours” (see photos).

But Sal Lombardo of West L.A. found a sign in Mission Hills that outlawed driving past the same point two times “within six hours.”

Asked Lombardo “How do you go to the market and back?”

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ON THE ROAD: Dr. Kenneth Barrett of Huntington Beach contributed a snapshot from San Francisco, which, he joked, seems “to have stranger parking codes than we do.”

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X-FILES: I should have been more precise in my item about a squabble among contestants on the TV quiz show, “Winning Lines.” The question actually was how many presidents of the United States had an “X” in their first or last names. The answer: one (Richard Nixon), though some contestants incorrectly voted for Alexander Hamilton. I caused some confusion by failing to note that middle names didn’t count. Oh well. It was good to hear from all you James Knox Polk fans, anyway.

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TIME PASSES SO NOISILY: Did you read in The Times where someone’s watch alarm sounded twice during a Chopin recital by pianist Byron Janis in Riverside the other night? Electronic interruptions are all too common during stage presentations these days.

In an interview on TV’s “Sixty Minutes,” actor Kevin Spacey recalled the time he heard a cell phone ringing in the audience while he was performing in a play.

He said he paused and instructed the phone owner: “Tell them we’re busy.”

Of course, in the case of the ringing watch, Janis couldn’t blame anyone in the audience. It was his own.

miscelLAny:

How much do they love their oaks in Thousand Oaks?

Jeff Bliss writes that when he and his wife were looking for a house there, “we were told by real estate agents that T.O.’s City Charter stipulated T.O. must maintain at least 1,000 oak trees within the city limits or it would lose its charter.” Added Bliss: “I thought you might want to throw that into your urban [or is it suburban?] legends file.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.