Now You Only See This Stuff on Wrestling

Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “Let’s face it, as bad as Marty McSorley’s attack on Donald Brashear was, they don’t make hockey fights like they used to.

“The Toronto Globe and Mail reminds us of the granddaddy of them all--the battle between Maurice Richard of Montreal and Hal Laycoe of Boston in 1955, that began with the players hitting each other with their sticks and wound up, in Laycoe’s words, as Richard ‘broke one stick over me, then picked up another, broke it, picked up another. I’m standing there like John L. Sullivan, fending off sticks with my hands and arms.’

“Richard was suspended for the rest of the season, and when NHL President Clarence Campbell attended the Canadiens’ next home game, a riot ensued that included tear gas inside the Forum, $100,000 in damages and 37 arrests.”

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Trivia time: How many times have the Lakers won 60 or more games in the regular season?

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Trash talk: Talk about your poor losers . . .

UCLA softball Coach Sue Enquist has formally apologized to the University of Hawaii for stuffing a tournament trophy in the trash can at the Rainbow Wahine Softball Stadium.

The incident occurred earlier this month after the Bruins, then ranked No. 1 in the country, lost to unranked Hofstra and finished fourth in the four-day, six-team Paradise Softball Classic, hosted by Hawaii.

Hawaii officials accepted the apology, but Betsy Stephenson, UCLA’s senior women’s administrator, did not indicate what internal action might be taken against Enquist, citing school privacy policies.

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The rational thinker: Rasheed Wallace, the Trail Blazer with the short fuse, explains why referees have tagged him with 22 technicals this season: “I just come at them with logic, and I guess that’s what burns them up.”

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High hopes: A New York Yankee banner on a Times Square hotel: “We’ll try to do better next century.”

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Laker guru: Michael Ventre of MSNBC says that Phil Jackson “is doing the best coaching job of anyone in a major sport.”

How good?

“This guy could sell a Sports Illustrated subscription to John Rocker.”

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Mean: A study says more and more cocaine is being smuggled into the U.S. via Haiti. Said comedy writer Alan Ray:

“Agents say this is a change from its traditional route--in Darryl Strawberry’s gym bag.”

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Tough city: Reggie Miller of the Indiana Pacers was fined $5,000 for shouting unacceptable language at Knick fans.

“How can you possibly offend a New Yorker?” Alex Kaseberg asks. “What did he say? ‘Please be friendly to tourists?’ ”

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Trivia answer: Nine, with a best record of 69-13 in the 1971-72 season.

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And finally: Bob Smizik in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: “Kimo von Oelhoffen is destined to go down as one of the great names in the history of Steeler football.

“Whether he goes down as one of the great players in the history of Steelers football is another matter.”