Beware of Kafelnikov’s Crocodile Tears

One of the more creative scams being run in sports is going on at the Australian Open, a sting being handled so well that the less informed or more naive might want to drive to Las Vegas and find a sports book.

That would mean a bet on Yevgeny Kafelnikov to win the men’s singles title. And were that bet to pay off, it would be at odds certainly driven up by the daily performance that this clever, street-smart Russian is turning in almost daily.

Late in the day Tuesday, Kafelnikov waltzed into the semifinals with a 3-6, 6-3, 6-1, 7-6 (4) victory over Younes El Aynaoui of Morocco--the first set took 19 minutes and the rest of the way, Kafelnikov appeared only mildly interested--and that set up a Friday semifinal against Magnus Norman of Sweden.

Norman made his first venture into the semifinals of a Grand Slam event by upsetting No. 4-seeded Nicolas Kiefer of Germany in the main stadium match Wednesday night. Norman, seeded No. 12, won, 3-6, 6-3, 7-6 (4), 6-2, and took the match when Kiefer double-faulted.

Afterward, the 23-year-old Swede who grew up idolizing Stefan Edberg, celebrated match point by placing his head on his racket and staring downward at the court in a moment of deep reflection.

“I actually made it,” he said afterward. “I felt [at that point] like, you know, it’s something that I never believed I could make in my career, to be in the semifinal of a Grand Slam.

“It’s huge. I have no words for it. It is unbelievable.”

Kafelnikov has thousands of words to describe his advance through to the semifinals, and they are all wonderful theater. Taken at his word, he is merely window dressing in an event starring Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi. Why would anybody even be interviewing him? Why not spend your time on the top half of the draw, where the real names and real stories are?

Well, he is correct that the big interest is elsewhere in this event, that Sampras-Agassi tonight (Wednesday midnight in Los Angeles) is the main event and everybody else is pretty much an undercard.

But Kafelnikov, coached by his good friend and golf companion, Larry Stefanki of La Quinta, Calif.--and no less than the No. 2-ranked player in world and the defending champion here--is really carrying the shtick to new highs.

Some samples:

* “I never expected I will get that far on the tournament.”

* “I’m not realistically No. 2 in the world in real life. The two guys who are No. 1 and No. 2 are Pete and Andre.”

* “If you look at the results [he has had against Sampras] those two victories I had were on clay courts . . . But, you know, Pete is a legend. He is definitely the best player of this decade.”

If you didn’t know better, and you didn’t realize that one thing players on this level never lack is ego, you might actually start feeling sorry for poor Yevgeny, the lost soul who has somehow wandered into the semifinals, and very possibly the final, and will then be like a poor little Christian, being fed to lion Pete or lion Andre in the men’s final.

Spare your tears, and don’t drive to Vegas.

Kafelnikov probably won’t win--he may not even get past a peaking Norman, who beat him in their last encounter last year in a tournament on Long Island.

But either Sampras or Agassi is likely to at least work up a tad of sweat and maybe even lose a game or two if it is Kafelnikov across the net in the final.

*

American Alex O’Brien’s quest to win a second consecutive Grand Slam doubles title--he won at the U.S. Open with Sebastian Lareau--stopped at the semifinal level today, when he and partner Jared Palmer were beaten in the semifinals by Wayne Black and Andrew Kratzmann. The No. 4-seeded O’Brien-Palmer never got to a break point in their 7-6 (6), 6-3 upset loss to No. 8 Black and Kratzmann. So close was the match that Black, from Zimbabawe and USC, and Kratzmann, a veteran Australian, converted the only break point they had. . . . Lindsay Davenport was probably happy that the roof was closed for her semifinal on a rainy day today. When she played her quarterfinal with the roof open, officials had sent a ball boy out to clean up something near the baseline where Davenport was about to serve. Davenport and the ball boy, with towel in hand, had a quick conversation and suddenly, Davenport was bent at the waist and laughing. “When he found it was from the sea gulls on the roof, he said, ‘I don’t want to do that,’ ” Davenport related later, still laughing. “So I said, I’m not going to do it. So he finally mopped it up, but he sure wasn’t happy about it.”