Then Ask if They Have Prince Albert in a Can

Back in our barhopping days, my friend Kirsti had a foolproof way of getting rid of sleazy guys. When they’d ask her what she did for a living, she liked to reply that she was a “shepherd.”

Why? No particular reason.

Messing with people’s heads (to put it politely) is a sport for some, including Justin Heinberg and David Gomberg, both 27, who’ve just written “Do Unto Others” (St. Martin’s Press, $8.95).

When they started brainstorming a couple years back, they had hoped to create a board game or maybe a game show. Instead, they wrote a book. (Of course, there is a disclaimer, and the authors won’t take responsibility for any unpleasant outcomes.)

* At McDonald’s: “Tell cashier you are attracted to Grimace [the original furry purple guy] and bashfully ask if he/she could set you up.”

* At church: “Ask for a low-fat communion wafer.”

* At a bar: “Order fake drinks such as ‘bloated pilgrim’ and ‘compromising Marxist,’ and feign rage when the bartender admits ignorance.”

* At a traffic stop: “Wave your hand slightly and [tell the cop], ‘These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.’ ”

“We tried a couple of them,” said Heinberg, an aspiring screenwriter here. “But most are purely from the imagination. We are always imagining weird stuff to do to confuse people. Confusion is underrated.”

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Considering the short lives of most streetwear companies, L.A.’s X-Large menswear label, founded in 1991 by Adam Silverman, 36, and Eli Bonerz, 33, is a success story. Now the pair is reintroducing X-Girl, their women’s line that fizzled out soon after its launch in 1994. A new X-Girl store is scheduled to open Friday on Vermont Avenue.

Silverman said the new and improved line is “girly” and “clubby.” He called the clothes, which are manufactured in Japan, an “L.A.--Tokyo cross-pollination,” with high-tech fabrics in primary colors and strong graphics.

“It’s been cool to be part of something coming up from the street,” said Silverman. “The streetwear movement shook up the industry. Of course, in a couple of years we’ll be the old guard the kids will be shaking down.”

That doesn’t bother him, though: “It’s not like it’s going to change anyone’s life what our clothes look like.”

Now that’s a refreshing thing to hear from a designer.

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Newspaper heiress Patricia Hearst Shaw will soon add “TV host” to her list of, um, accomplishments. The granddaughter of newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst will host two Travel Channel shows about Hearst Castle, scheduled to air in spring 2001.

In the first special, “Secrets of San Simeon With Patricia Hearst,” she will explore art, architecture and furnishings at the castle where she spent her childhood summers. The second special will address the home’s history as a retreat for Hollywood stars, literary and political figures.

And no . . . the Travel Channel is not owned by Hearst Communications.

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Booth Moore can be reached at booth.moore@latimes.com.