Our Pitch: ‘Babe’ Meets ‘Deliverance’

Talk about a Pig-Alert.

When the Northridge earthquake struck in 1994, actor George Clooney was awakened by his potbellied porker Max.

“I was naked,” Clooney recalls in the new book, “In or Out--Gay and Straight Celebrities Talk About Themselves and Each Other,” by Boze Hadleigh.

“I had a buddy who lived downstairs in the guest house, and he was naked but he brought his gun. Max was squealing real loud.

“At first no one knew what was going on. My buddy thought it was someone breaking in, rattling the windows. . . . It was a wild scene, but not what you might think: two naked guys, a pig and a gun.”

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X MARKS THE PASSERBY: You never know what may cross your path these days. Among the photos I’ve collected (see accompanying) are warnings to watch out for nuns at Mount St. Mary’s College in Brentwood, lizards outside (hopefully not inside) Las Brisas restaurant in Laguna Beach, slugs north of Eureka (submitted by Jack O’Hara) and humped zebras--or striped speed bumps--in Liverpool (from Jay Berman).

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PLATES OF THE DAY: Here are some vanity license plates (with translations) on the knx1070.com Web site:

* DOGBAIT--Sebastian Torres of Canyon Country: “I am a mailman in Encino and the dogs in the neighborhood seem to know when I’m in the area.”

* O2B5FT--Pilar Alcivar of Signal Hill: “I’m 4 feet, 9 inches tall and I’ve been this height since I was 14. At 44, being 5 feet is just a dream.”

* UDERJOB--Leslie Weed of Chino Hills: “I work in the dairy industry as a milkman.”

* YESDEAR--Rob Hankey of Westlake Village: “My wife is a very wise woman and home is her queendom so I acknowledge it by always getting in these last few words.”

* 02BINLA--Bucky Moore of Studio City: “I’m happy to live in the best city in the world.”

And, now for an opposing point of view:

* IMISNY--Karen Millar of Beverly Hills: Yup, she favors the Big Apple over the Big Orange.

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ANTI-ANGELS: On the DMV Web site (plates.ca.us), I found several vanity plates that seemed to speak of disenchantment with the City of Angels. The messages included:

OYMINLA, YMINLA, YAMINLA, and the family-style YRWENLA.

Better, I think, to accept L.A. and its little eccentricities. As does the driver with the plate PCHCLSD. Of course, it could be owned by a traffic reporter.

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O2BNCA: “I got a laugh on the Santa Monica Freeway at Robertson, where Caltrans has erected a huge ‘California Welcome Center, 1 mile’ sign on the eastbound shoulder,” writes Hans Laetz. “I was so distracted I missed the next 176 exits and ended up in Arizona.”

The sign refers to a tourism promotion office at the Beverly Center, and I don’t see what Laetz finds unusual about it. Obviously, the sign was directed at vacationers from the People’s Republic of Santa Monica.

miscelLAny:

The Times published a piece about cantor Steve Puzarne of Santa Monica’s Beth Shir Sholom, whose band performs nontraditional music set to lyrics from the Torah. The story was headlined: “Not Your Father’s Synagogue.”

Puzarne’s 10-year-old son Ethan questioned the accuracy of the headline. “It is my father’s synagogue,” he said.