Practice Makes Perfect (Spot to Pick Out Losers)

AS A PUBLIC service Thursday, the Washington Redskins began charging adults $10 to watch their training camp practices.

It’s hoped that this attempt to identify morons will catch on.

It’s going to be a difficult task, what with an estimated crowd of 4,500 turning out to pay the $10 for parking and the $10 admission fee, but sooner or later maybe the effort can be made to collect their names and addresses and then post their pictures around the neighborhood so people with lives can ignore them.

Nothing worse than leaning over the back fence only to discover that the guy next door has just come home from a football practice and wants to talk about it.

Children under 12, of course, are being allowed to attend at no cost, because children under 12 can run around and play on the outskirts of a football field, bring a snack and then learn at an early age what it’s like to be snubbed when asking for an autograph.

Some people have criticized owner Dan Snyder, claiming he is gouging Redskin fans, but when’s the last time someone in Washington showed the courage to better mankind?

There is nothing duller than watching football players going through the sluggish motion of running drills with instructions not to hit anyone. Every guy handed the ball runs through the line and scores, unless of course it’s Wendell Tyler. He fumbles.

Here in California, the local effort to single out morons will take place July 27-30 when the people with no lives will be asked to pay $12 for entrance to the Anaheim Convention Center to attend the National Sports Collectors Convention for the privilege of having Johnny Bench autograph your bat for $125.

Wade Boggs will sign a napkin for $60, but you already know that, because you know who you are, and don’t you feel silly?

“There were 100,000 people here the last time the convention was in Anaheim in 1991,” a spokesman for the event said.

Some of those normal-looking no-lifers could be living on your very own block.

That’s what makes Snyder’s work in Washington so important. These people need to be exposed.

And if the Kennedy Center Honors’ mantra is, “For the unique and extremely valuable contributions that have been made to the cultural life of our nation,” as Kennedy Center Chairman James A. Johnson has said, then Snyder should be nominated for induction.

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SO A FRIEND STOPS BY and tells me a friend of his was at the big Laker bash at the Conga Room the other night for the debut of the team’s highlight video, and “you won’t believe what I saw,” he says, and so I’m writing it down as fast as he can tell me. “They got this big crowd and all of sudden Jerry strolls into the room with seven or eight gorgeous young women. It’s unbelievable--there’s just no quit in the guy.”

And here everyone thought Jerry West was in Alaska fishing.

“No, I was talking about Jerry Buss,” he said.

An easy mistake to make, of course, because you would think the guy would like to see a highlight video of what he missed while driving around Los Angeles.

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READING THE FINE PRINT, there is nothing that says a Los Angeles Times employee can’t enter the Daily News’ “Who’s Your Favorite Sparks Player?” contest. The prize is two airline tickets to Phoenix and a night in a nice hotel, which means one less Dodger game to attend.

To enter the contest, the newspaper says, you must “tell us in 50 words or less” Who’s Your Favorite Sparks Player?

And me? All out of lifelines.

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LET’S SEE, YOU can pay $1,275 for a floor seat to hear Barbra Streisand sing at Staples Center on Sept. 20 and 21, or spend $1,350 for a front-row seat to watch the Lakers play, or admit to friends that you paid $325 to sit in the front row of a Clipper game.

The best value, however, looks like the Oct. 10 WWF “Smackdown.” Just $40 for a ringside folding chair, which can also be thrown.

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OH, AND HAVE a nice day.

* Cuba third baseman Andy Morales, successfully making it to U.S. soil, will now be eligible to sign a contract with a major league team. The Dodgers were interested until they found out he wasn’t under 18 years of age.

* Plans for the next X-Men movie are underway, and executives at 20th Century Fox and Marvel Studios are debating who to add to the cast for the next production. The leading comic book characters being considered appear to be “Gambit,” because of his charming personality; “Beast” because of his superhuman agility; “Colossus” because of his superhuman strength; “Nightcrawler” because he can stick to walls; and “Chad Kreuter,” because he’s so lovable.

* There are two out in the ninth, the Angels down by a run and at the crack of the bat, Scott Spiezio takes off from second base. The ball goes to right field, and if any one of the Burger King trio of Mo Vaughn, Kent Bottenfield or Mike Scioscia is running from second base, he scores standing up.

But Spiezio is out, and although replays suggest the ump might have blown the call, an ant, or aunt for that matter, trying to negotiate its way across Interstate 5 during rush hour would have made better time.

* You can imagine my concern when I heard Andre Agassi was coming to town to play in a tennis tournament at UCLA. My auto insurance representative says I have two choices: Stay off the streets while he’s driving around here, or pay higher premiums.

* Raider cornerback Charles Woodson, found guilty for driving while impaired after leaving a charity event, has been told he must spend 60 hours doing charity work.

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TODAY’S LAST WORD comes from e-mailer Stan C. in Torrance:

“I take exception to your crusade against poor F.P. Santangelo. If you really want to go after someone who is the biggest disappointment among the Dodgers that play every day, why not Todd Hollandsworth?”

That can be arranged.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at his e-mail address: t.j.simers@latimes.com.