Flash Flood

On screen and off, so much flesh and flash parade through the MTV Movie Awards that when this reporter’s blouse spontaneously unbuttons to the navel, fully half an hour passes before it merits notice among the eye-popping parade of young beauties and dashing heartthrobs.

As the anti-establishment Oscars, MTV’s awards shows have become famous for being the entertainment industry’s bacchanal of revelry and rock ‘n’ roll. Outrageousness once mattered more than style, but no more.

The pressure to look hip, hot and ready for the cover of Cosmopolitan has hit the many teen and 20-something nominees who play sexy characters on screen and on the red carpet. Saturday’s awards, which took place at the Sony Pictures studio, air Thursday on MTV.

Looking much younger and sexier than at the Oscars, Mena Suvari, with new hubby Robert Brinkmann in tow, paused before photographers to unbutton her vintage Pucci jacket slightly, revealing a perfectly toned belly.

Such gestures were common among starlets doing their red carpet strut. In a chiffon gown as sheer as a negligee, a former “House of Style” host, model Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, parted the slit of her Versace to reveal a length of perfect thigh.

Oddly, the shock value of low- and lower-cut gowns hardly registers in the post-Jennifer Lopez era. As their necklines plunged deeper and wider, starlets aimed to give onlookers something more to gawk and talk about.

Surely the French have a word for the slice of cleavage that many young stars chose to reveal. It’s the kind of side-view, almost-underarm cross-section of a breast that’s usually reserved for a mammogram. Actress and singer Aaliyah couldn’t find a pose that comfortably revealed her side cleavage. “Dawson’s Creek” star Meredith Monroe sashayed in her suede Costume National mini-dress, showing thigh, back, side-cleavage and all.

Even old-fashioned frontal cleavage got a new look. In a revealing Alexander McQueen suit, MTV VJ Ananda Lewis accented the inner curve of her almost-bared breast with a row of rhinestoned “bindi” dots. Award-winner Julia Stiles wore her body rhinestones more discreetly--in a starburst along her collarbone.

Lucy Liu, in a nod to sexy legs, flashed her gams in a micro-mini rhinestoned Versace halter dress. Halle Berry shimmied in a low-riding hipster skirt and bandeau by New York designer Inca that revealed the strap of her thong undies. (Parents, beware: Thong straps are your next battle.)

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The hot fashion trends? Low-rise leather pants, high-rise sandals and barely there halter tops.

And for the guys, slick leather, suede and designer denim ruled. Comic actor Shawn Wayans strutted in a sheer Jean Paul Gaultier turtleneck, while brother Marlon wore a whipstitched leather coat. “American Pie’s” Jason Biggs wore a leather jacket, denim tuxedo pants and royal-blue satin cowboy shirt, courtesy of Tommy Hilfiger. The members of ‘N Sync piled on every denim trend going: deconstructed, patchworked and acid-washed. They were like the ghost of Jimi Hendrix caught in a time warp with the Monkees.

Significantly, many more mature nominees skipped the red carpet ritual, notably Bruce Willis, Jim Carrey, Julia Roberts, Mike Myers, Keanu Reeves, Adam Sandler and the show’s host, Sarah Jessica Parker. It’s hard to guess what is less appealing to the over-20s: participating in the MTV circus or having to dress like a 20-year-old fashion victim to be hip.

Some men discovered that the best way to get attention amid all the sex and sizzle was to fight back with sophistication. Camouflaged by the pristine good taste of a sleek pinstriped Giorgio Armani suit, Mark Wahlberg nearly went unnoticed until he removed his sunglasses. He wears Armani, he said, “because they’re the only ones who give me free clothes.” (Are you listening, Prada?)

In yet another spoof, “South Park” creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, now infamous for dressing in drag at this year’s Oscars, appeared in manly Prada and Armani suits.

“Hey, this is a serious event!” Parker said in mock protest.

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Big Stars, a Little Nonsense: Celebs, silliness were on tap at MTV’s event. Plus a bit of predictability. F3